Please tell me no

Most people stop short of their dreams, park and get off the highway of life because of the rejections of life.

Oh! How we so love to hear a yes to a job interview, yes to a contract, yes to a love proposal, yes to a bank loan, yes to a scholarship, yes to all the good things we dream and hope for.

We embrace affirmative responses to all things important and dear to us but not all positive responses are good for us.

No one loves to hear the word ‘no’ because it appears disappointing, demeaning and displeasing to the ears. Many who shy away from negatives responses, rejections and failure, often pursuing perfection with a laser beam focus are ignorant of the fact that failure is an integral part of the success journey.

You will often be rejected in your quest to get what you desire and instead of being discouraged, make ‘no’ which is often the sound of negative responses, your vitamins list, knowing that every time somebody says no, that takes you a little closer to a yes.

A look at history reveals the many people we acknowledge to have succeeded failed many times, they were often despised, rejected, neglected, ridiculed and stigmatized. Sometimes to succeed is to fail and fail big because out of failure comes success.

The fact that you are being rejected means that you are making progress. This is because every motion and movement is often against friction and restriction. We naturally do not grow in good times; when we are given the praises when all things seem to be working right and our expectations are met.

This is because of the momentary success we enjoy, often hinder us from learning critical lessons that are necessary for the next stage of life.

Please tell me no to the job opening; I’ll try elsewhere or see it as an opportunity to create one.

Please tell me no to the sales; I’ll knock on the next door or come back another time. Please tell me no to the love proposal; I’ll find someone else or come back another time. Be determined, persistent and relentless taking no as an encouragement to double your effort.

As author and poet Wallace Stevens once said, ‘‘After the final no, there comes a yes and on that, yes, the future of the world depends. No was the night. Yes, is the present sun’’.

At the end of the many negative responses, what you get is a ‘yes’ waiting at the end of the tunnel, ushering you to the brighter and glorious side of the life you so much desire.

At the hindsight of life and time, we acknowledge that the many ‘no’ we heard that broke and crushed us, were the same things that made us strong and increased our faith. It did not make sense then, but now it does.

The more negative responses you get, the more you dig deep down within yourself to uncover the depth of gifts, grit, faith, strength and talents that laid dormant within you. The good books corroborate by saying, ‘‘All things work together for the good of them that love God and them who are the called, according to his purpose’’ (Romans 8:28).

It is as if the negatives responses we had earlier in life were purposefully meant to direct our attention to the weightier matters we have ignored, hence tuning in to focusing on the path to the fulfilment of our destiny and purposes in life.

I can only conclude that the road of life is long and you are only as strong as your faith, your courage, your conviction and drive to look beyond the setback of negative responses and take the next step despite the bumps, turns and collisions.

As a child of God, you have to come to the awareness that nothing bad happens to you, they happen for you; no matter how challenging the situation, how dark the days or how dismal the hour, you can always look forward to a better future, the moment you recognize that God is at work even in your wreckage.