Principles to guide fathers to lead their families successfully in this 21st century

It is common knowledge that men are leaders of families. Once a man marries, he becomes the de facto or de jure head of his family and is expected to discharge certain duties that anchor the family's well-being, growth, and development.

I define leadership in this case as the husband working hand-in-hand with the wife to fulfill the objectives for the family they would have mutually agreed on. I want to explore this issue of leadership further in the write-up.

Leadership is the ability of an individual to influence and guide followers or members of an organisation, society, or team toward the achievement of an agreed vision or objectives.

Leadership is an ability that can be developed and enhanced by any committed person over time (Barney & Pratt, 2023). Thus, the emphasis on the leadership of a father or husband is their ability to harness the aspirations, talents, and abilities of members of the family to achieve family goals both individually and collectively. Indeed, the father should be able to assist members of his household to unearth their talents and develop them to their full potential and aspirations.

Tools needed by fathers:

In Myles Munroe's book "The Fatherhood Principle: Priority, Position, and the Role of the Male", under chapter 8 titled 'Father as Head and Leader', he explains seven (7) principles that, in my opinion, can help contemporary fathers become better leaders of their families. They are as follows:

Firstly, servant leadership. My spiritual mentor of blessed memory, Samuel Arthur Wilson, always admonished me that "those who want to lead should first be servants." This admonition is found in Myles Munroe's book, and he intimates that "heads and leaders are first and foremost servants like Christ. It is impossible to assume a position of leadership without first serving."

For fathers to be able to achieve the goals they set for their families, they must necessarily become servant leaders. Servant leadership is participatory leadership, which endears you to your family. By doing so, directing and influencing decisions as the leader becomes easy since you are seen as the servant head of the family.

Secondly, Christ-mindedness. This is an important ingredient and is only possible if men have attained 'Enlightenment'. When one becomes enlightened, it is synonymous with possessing the mind of Christ. Fathers must have the mind of Christ (see 1 Corinthians 2:16) through study and/or being enlightened, which includes possessing the knowledge and wisdom to lead a family in the ways of God.

Thirdly, the visionary father. Having the ability to anticipate things before they happen, making adequate preparations, and equipping the family to face the future with confidence. Fathers should develop accurate perceptions, conceptions, and initiatives for their families to carry them successfully into the future. According to Munroe (2008), perception is awareness of what is happening around the family. A father should endeavour to know what is happening with his wife and children at all times. When behaviours or attitudes change, he should be able to have the orientation to recognise them. When spiritual or physical needs arise, he should have the orientation to be aware of them.

Nothing should escape their attention (Munroe, 2008). Conception is the ability of a father to form in his mind what he hopes or plans for his family and how he would lead the family to achieve or fulfill them. Husbands, as heads of their families, should learn to commune with God to receive directions and guidance for the good and progress of their families. Thus, fathers must develop the spirit of discernment to help them receive guidance from God Almighty for the progress and development of their families.

Fourthly, the ability to address recurrent needs. Since life itself is dynamic, fathers should have a lot of gravitas when responding to the challenging needs of their families. Challenges are a part of life but fathers must discern and be proactive in addressing the ongoing needs of their families (Munroe, 2008).

Fifthly, the listening father. Listening is one paramount skill I encourage all fathers to develop. Our ability to listen to and understand the needs of family endears us to them and builds healthy family bonds and understanding. "Listening is a gift that fathers give to their families. When men listen, their listening tells their families that they care for them (Munroe, 2008).

Sixthly, the ability to direct your family using Godly principles. Fathers must at all times demonstrate godly attributes to keep their families straight and narrow. "A true father speaks the Word of God in the home. Through the father’s voice, inspired by God and His Word, the family can be properly directed toward its well-being and progress (Munroe, 2008).

Seventh, good fathers do not seek to dominate their families but seek to help all members of their families develop and utilise their potential to the maximum. This can be achieved through proper observation of every member of the family in terms of their potentials or natural aptitudes and interests, to be able to help them develop them for their own good and for that of the family and society at large.

Conclusion:

Fatherhood is a very difficult task, especially as every member of the family has their own potential and destiny to fulfill. However, when fathers become servant leaders, provide a vision for their families, develop listening ears for members of their family, and provide leadership for their families, they will position their families to be the best they can be and to achieve their God-given potential, despite the barrage of negativity from society towards the family.