Quit falling in love with stupid people

My words are inadequate to express my disgust for the atrocious murder incidents that have suddenly taken over this country in recent times where husbands or boyfriends are slaying wives, girlfriends, or side-chicks due to possessive behaviour and betrayal of trust or confidence. It has occurred too many times this year to be overlooked.

A police inspector in Kumasi recently shot and killed his side-chick for opting out of the relationship. A barber stabbed his 19-year-old girlfriend to death for cheating on him. A US-based Ghanaian man shot his wife and himself because she wanted a divorce, and many other such cases are on the rise in the country.

The authorities, state institutions like the National Commission for Civic Education (NCCE), parents, teachers, and religious leaders must find a way out to curb this menace and educate the youth, especially on emotional intelligence and healthy behaviour with respect to romantic relationships.

This generation isn't practising the kind of love that they would live for; many of today's relationships are ephemeral since the benefits aren't mutual anymore. The expected ethereal feeling from their significant others is rarely forthcoming. They seldom have a taste of magic, romanticise important dates, or show each other real affection.

We don't live for each other any longer. People are becoming more and more insensitive to their partners’ needs with total disregard for their sacrifices for them, hence the increased cases of domestic violence. And these hurt persons seem to have no other recourse but to resort to murder, causing fear and trepidation in our communities.

There’s no justification whatsoever for such crimes, but to be on the safe side, women, or young girls, who are mostly the victims, should stop saying yes to men they know they do not like too much. Don’t say yes because of the material things or support you’ll get from men.

It’s dangerous and could put your life in jeopardy, as we’ve seen in the past months, weeks, and days. It’s dreadful to play with the feelings or emotions of others; if you do, you will eventually have yourself to blame. Stop playing games and date or marry people you truly love; it’s for your own good. This advice also goes to men who take advantage of women or girls.

Some of these men must grow up and stop spending their hard-earned money on women or girls who are off limits or do not take them seriously. If you've got to use money to convince a girl to love you, that’s a red flag, and you must immediately stay away from her.

When a girl or woman loves you, she wants nothing from you, even if she needs it. She’ll be soft with you; she won’t play games or manipulate you. Love doesn’t hide; it always shows itself. Be in control of your emotions and stop loving girls more than you love yourself. Be a high-value man. Invest the money in yourself and contribute to the growth of your community and country.

Parents should perform their responsibilities and not leave their daughters to depend on men they do not love for survival. They must work hard to raise their daughters not to need the support of men in exchange for sex or relationships. They should teach them not to be greedy, selfish, and patronising, though I know some children are intransigent despite their parents’ admonition.

They should equally teach their sons not to be in haste to take care of girls or women they think they love. It’s not bad to support a girl, but don’t do it in return for her love and affection. Don’t do too much for a girl or a woman you know isn’t real with you. If a woman doesn’t love you, it’s always discernible or obvious, but some men ignore these red flags because they believe they’re in love. It’s absurd to be in love with someone who isn’t in love with you. No woman respects a simp, and if you’re simping, even the one who loves you will eventually fall out with you.

As a man, you must arm yourself with emotional intelligence to avoid going to jail or obliterating your own life. If you plan to murder your girlfriend or wife because they betrayed you, think about the consequences and repercussions of being a murderer—the aspersions, slurs, and shame you’ll bring upon yourself, your family, and your community. Harming an ungrateful wife or girlfriend isn’t coterminous with your peace of mind or freedom. Quit ‘pandering’ to women who don’t love you and build yourself up the social scale or ladder.