Some of the President's appointees

…. Kobby Acheampong, the unrepentant and unmitigating disaster from Atonsu who exhibited utter contempt for his parents by referring to them as “kokoase nkrurasefo” is hereby christened Rasputin Grigory Kobby Acheampong. Rasputin was a man who wielded a lot of power in the Russian Government because of his influence over Alexandria, wife of Czar Nicholas ll. He claimed to be a holy man but was noted for his immoral sexual depravity.

Rasputin Kobby Acheampong wields a lot of influence in Mills Government. I don’t know how and why, but I will find out. When it comes to insulting his betters, Rasputin Kobby Acheampong ranks second to none. It has been alleged and the rumour is fast gaining currency that our modern day Rasputin is Gay, Infact they say he is a homosexual, - a fact further attested to during his off air verbal exchanges with Shamima Muslim. People point to his puffy cheeks as a sign of someone who is deeply involved in the act of homosexuality and is therefore in dire need of exorcism.


This fact has been put in the public domain for a very long time. People are questioning why he was not using his official driver at the time he had the fracas with the Police on the Accra Cape Coast Road. People are speculating if perhaps Rasputin Kobby Acheampong was on his way to meet his “partner in crime” for their usual two some rendezvous when he was “arrested” by the police. His partner in crime at the other side, I believe, might have been calling him intermittently and the action of the Police in frustrating him in his desire to have a nice time angered him to the highest level so much that he put a call to the IGP to teach those “imbecile” of policemen where power lies.


Rasputin Grigory Kobby Acheampong, it has been alleged you are gay. Off air, during your verbal exchanges with the host of Good Morning show on Mondays, Wednesdays and Friday, you called her uncomplimentary names and she too referred to you in a similar vein. She taunted you that you are gay. What do you have to say to that? Ghanaians are chorusing that Rasputin Grigory Kobby Acheampong, Deputy Minister of Interior is a homosexual. What are the President and our Religious Leaders doing about this?


The only way for Rasputin Kobby Acheampong to absolve himself of this allegation is to subject his anus to medical examination. Failure to do this will give high premium to the allegations and not even ten thousand angels swearing that Rasputin Kobby Acheampong is not gay will make Ghanaians change their opinions about him.


But the question is this: Rasputin Grigori Kobby Acheampong, will you take the test? Ghanaians pause for your answer.

Ayatollah Khomeini Ato Ahwoi: There is no doubt in the mind of every Ghanaian that the Ayatollah of Ghanaian politics is Ato Ahwoi. Ayatollah Khomeini was both the political and religious leader after the revolution which ousted the Shah of Iran. His utterances became decrees or Fatwa and were implemented to the letter.


We have facts to suggest that Ato Ahwoi is going the way of Ayatollah Khomeini. He has said that Ekow Spio Gabrah would be appointed into Mills Cabinet over his dead body and truly the cabinet door has been flung shut on Spio’s face for opening his moth too long.


Pau Joseph Goebbels Baba Jamal: Here is another unrepentant and unmitigating disaster in Mills Cabinet. Goebbels was the notorious German propagandist who hyped up German sentiments against the Jews and other races. His notoriority in information dissemination reached its pitch during the Second World War. Baba Jamal has said it loud and clear, and he is yet to deny it that in implementing the NDC Government’s policies, appointees, especially those in the information ministry should do well to embellish everything the NDC Government does and that if they see a goat they should say it is a cow.


It was Goebbels Baba Jamal who referred to President Mills as a magician who prefers a juju ring to his wedding ring, because according to him, when the President visited flooded areas in the Atiwa District, he (the President) looked up to the skies, fiddled with his juju ring and said, “Nana Oboa Nipa, hu yen mmobo” In less than 24 hours after, the waters had receded to their normal level.


Don Quixote Nii Nortey Duah: This accolade fits Nii Nortey Duah very well. He is the Don Quixote of our politics. I hope readers have not forgotten his mantra to those who had travelled to Accra but could not get the opportunity of travelling to South Africa to watch the football matches during the World Cup. What did he say?

- That they should find accommodation for themselves in Accra, buy some vuvuzelas and then lie low for some time. At the end of the World Cup fiesta, they should travel to their respective home towns to tell their relatives that they too had gone to South Africa. No doubt the President who appointed such mediocrities as Ministers is himself uninspiring and does not exude much confidence.


O.J.Simpson Ama Benyiwa Doe: I hope readers remember O.J.Simpson who was noted for his exploits in American Football. He later became an actor. Well, O.J. was alleged to have killed his wife and the man whom he suspected to have been having affairs with his wife. His was tried for the murder of the two but was acquitted by the jury.


In Ghana, we also have our O.J.Simpson in the person of the Central Regional Minister, Ama Benyiwa Doe who was alleged to have murdered her husband by “slow poison”. This allegation was made by her late husband’s relatives, an allegations described by the woman at the centre of the debacle as unmeritorious.


But the saying goes that once a murderer always a murderer. When we went to consult Abrewa Tia, she returned a verdict of guilty against our Central Regional Minister. Just before the December, 2008 Elections, Ama Benyiwa Doe drove her car recklessly as Anita de Souza did at Abomoso and in the process killed a poor innocent man who had gone to buy his “kome” and “shito” at Mendskrom. Instead of admitting her fault, she claimed the deceased was insane. The case has died a natural death.


Is it by sheer coincidence that Anita de Souza and O.J.Simpson Ama Benyiwa Doe, both women without trace of human kindness found themselves as women Organizer of the most violent party in Ghana, at different periods? O.J.Simpson Ama Benyiwa Doe, Central Regional Minister for the NDC should subject herself to chemical interrogation to determine whether or not she has some killer hormones in her system which make her go “ga-ga” and kill any person who crosses her path.

But will our O.J.Simpson take the test?


Argus John Abu Jinapor is next on the line. In Greek mythology, we learnt of Argus, a watchman with over a hundred eyes which make him see everything around him. We have it on record that our Argus of a man who is a Special Aide to the Vice President is fond of saying things which are not true. We have it on record that even though he was not at the meeting he appointed himself the spokesperson to debrief Ghanaians about a so-called money which has been secured by his nebulous government to help in the construction of some roads in the country. The information later turned out to be lies.


Will our Argus John Abu Jinapor subject himself to a lie detective test? Chemical Ali Samuel Okudzeto Ablakwa and Peter Rabbit Kwesi Pratt have been dealt with in earlier write ups and so there is no need to dwell on them. Nii Lante Vanderpuye is hereby christened Mike Tyson. This Mike Tyson of a man has arrogated to himself the title of bully and kingmaker. You remember during the NDC Primaries to select a candidate for the Odododiodoo bye election, one of the contestants felt cheated and decided to go solo. The NDC realized the dangers inherent if the man was allowed to stand as an independent candidate. The party therefore decided to compensate the man; I think his name was Walid so that he would step down. Nii Lante Duah was given the money to be sent to the man. But it was alleged by one NDC member that Nii Lante Duah had taken two thousand dollars out of the said amount for himself. The allegation was made on air. Our Mike Tyson and one of President Mills body guard went and gave the man who accused Nii Lante Duah the beating of his life.


Mils then as a candidate carried an advert in many newspaper saying that investigations were on-going and that as soon as they were completed, appropriate sanctions would be meted out against the said body guards. Today, nearly five years after the incident, the public is yet to be told the outcome of those investigations.


It was Mike Tyson Nii Lante Vanderpuye who said it on air that whether we like or not, the NDC with Mills as the head would win a Second Term. Our Mike Tyson was at it again when he sent his thugs to disrupt a meeting called by the party’s executives to trash out some sensitive issues. But I was told he met his match in the body guards of the sitting MP, Nii Tackie Commey.

Again, Mike Tyson Nii Lante Vanderpuye is alleged to have stated that the MCE for Ga South is not fit to stand against the NPP Candidate, Ayorkor Botchway and so he should step aside for more creditable personalities to vie for the seat. But who made him a judge over his party men and women? But he has forgotten one thing. He should go and ask Mike Tyson how he ended his boxing career. Nemesis will soon catch up with him and the Tsunami will sweep him into political oblivion. We live in a wonderful world where anything can happen.


Daniel Danquah Damptey (Damptey_daniel@yahoo.com) (0243715297)