When dreams divorce reality

Make Up1 Makeup does not only enhance looks, it can repackage your EX into your crush

Fri, 10 Nov 2017 Source: Wienaa Crispin

It is understandable she is beautiful but what still baffles me is why she is unimaginably beautiful.

In this era of constructive beauty, unless you sleep and wake up with a lady, you cannot vow for her beauty.

Makeup does not only enhance looks, it can repackage your EX into your crush. Yes, in this sea of deceptive looks, she managed to be glaringly and piercingly beautiful by default.

She was and is still my crush. I met her on the internet. I mean Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. She has the curves of Peace Hyde, the magnetic eyes of Jackie Appiah and the sexy legs of Yvonne Nelson. Damn, let's forget about the eyes of the beholder.

With her, nobody can resist being a beholder. Even if you have chronic malfunction of beauty perception, you will see her beauty radiating from my phone screen. She is the executive summary of beauty. Not the beauty the Christian sisters want us to see with x-ray eyes. I mean the inner beauty 'distin.'

I still have confidence she will be my better-half one day. Telling me to stop dreaming is just telling me to lose faith in God. My faith is still solid like a rock. I use all my study time to follow her on social media; liking and commenting on any picture she posts. In fact, my CGPA is uncontrollably deflating like a burst Christmas balloon but that cannot be a deterrent.

The love I have for her is greater than the disgrace of graduating with a pass. With my hope tall as Mount Everest, the easiest way to spark World War III was to tell me my pursuit of her is a fruitless endeavour.

As days go by, my disappointment dazed me like Samir Bastie blow on Bukom Banku and my hope sublimed like a camphor. My faith took a nosedive but it was still strong enough to command the biblical red sea to divide. My lovelorn was not my only headache.

I was related to Asiedu Nketia in body. The question is; will such a beauty fall for my "Opanka-like" body? Your guess is right and predictable like Accra flood in a rainy season.

I am not dreaming alone. I am dreaming with millions of youth. Just that their dreams are different. These days, if you crush on a human, then you are obsolete or easily satisfied with medievals. We create an imaginary picture of a nonexistent human and crush on the "person".

It is refreshing and entertaining when we talk of the features of our ideal girl to our listening friends. If you limit your descriptions to a human, then you might have an unquenchable crave for less. We talk of an appealing mountainous butts and an irresistible protruding melonic boobs, complimented with an "ant-like" waist and a charming face. Only the body demands cannot gain you the ideal ticket.

You equally need the brains of Einstein, the manners of a nun and the toga of a model. Just as the guys have a tall list of features they want to see in their ideal girl, the ladies have an infinite list. Yes, an infinite list, a lady just woke me up to that reality.

I was very close to this lady and that renewed her confidence to speak of her wildest dreams.

She needed her ideal man to have six packs and a broad raised chest that will give a steep loopy curve at the breast region such that sweat can roll down his chest region into the abdomen region like Kintampo waterfalls.

Such a guy should be bearded, tall, thick with strong legs and most importantly intelligent and rich. The description was inexhaustible. Hardly had she finished than I interrupted. "If a guy has all these features, do you think he will be interested in you? I said.

It was too late to withdraw the missile. That was the question that ended our friendship. Regrets followed the said truth. This was a girl with a flat ass, and depressed height with sky rocking demands.

Yes, just as I want the best qualities in my lady so does every lady equally want the best qualities in her man. We all have our taste but when an Nzulezu man has taste for KFC, he might die without getting such "taste" satisfied.

Just as it is impossible for an ant to bring a live elephant to the dinner table, so it is for some dreams to meet reality. When you map out your ideal lady, map out yourself too and compare whether they are collinear.

This is how to divorce dreams from realities.

Columnist: Wienaa Crispin