Opinions Sat, 27 Jul 2019

The 1 billion bail and the 35 million returned


The elders say when a woman is hungry, she says, “roast something for the children so that they might eat”. Similarly, it appears someone somewhere said “release 35 million Ghana cowries to a man so that he can eat”.

Perhaps, what the aforementioned people forgot was that no one can use his or her hand to force the sun to set. The truth, just like the sun, will always come out when it should.

Nyaba, when the hungry woman feeds the children, no one can chastise her for licking her fingers. Similarly, when the one who allowed 35 million Ghana cowries to be released to one man, perhaps he knew that there'll be something left on his fingers for him to lick. But when the woman asked for the children to be fed, did she actually do so in the interest of the children or in her own interest?

Nyaba, let me explain. Here in our chiefdom, even when you go to the KVIP because you suspect you are having diarrhoea, pay 50 pesewas to the gatekeeper, and proceed to the latrine, only to discover that what you had earlier perceived as a large bout of diarrhoea, was only a large dose of flatulence, when you come out and explain to the gatekeeper that you did not do the real business, he will not give your money back to you.

You are likely to say “bossu as I go sit the hole top, sh*t no commot ooooo. Ebe only fush, I fush. I beg take your toilet newspaper back and give me my 50 pesewas. The gatekeeper will give you a wry smile that speaks volumes” what 50 pesewas? ” He would ask you sarcastically,” I no go for give the money back, but anytime you want to sh*t you can always pass by”. With these words, he would turn to the next toilet customer – case closed.

Nyaba, that is how difficult it is to get back 50 pesewas in our chiefdom, once it is paid to the next person. How come that a huge amount such as 35 million Ghana cowries can be returned to the “original owner” just like that? Nyaba, your sister’s son who lives in the concrete jungle calls it “suspected kuluulu”.

By the way, have you heard that NAM 1 has now been allowed to go home and sleep on his own bed, and even probably test his “Sokoto red bull?. Have you heard that before he was asked to go home, some people had to go and prove to the Asafo people that they can pay 1 billion Ghana cowries should NAM 1 suddenly disappear?

Have you heard that some of the customers of MENZGOLD have suddenly become energized with hope?

Nyaba, hope is good – I hope.
Columnist: Abdul Hayi Moomen