It’s okay to be a virgin!

Kobina Ansah Kobina Ansah

Sat, 28 May 2016 Source: Kobina Ansah

After a Biology class one day, one of my students walked up to me. “Sir, is it okay to be a virgin?” she carefully asked. As if the answer was obvious, I just nodded. “Sir. Are you sure!?” she stressed. “Well. It’s like being a teetotaler. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. It is no big deal.”

She seemed unconvinced from her countenance. She was walking away probably to satisfy her curiosity elsewhere. She returned. “I hear you can go mad if you are a virgin!” she blurted. I burst out into laughter. “Well. I am in my late twenties and I haven’t been to the psychiatrist hospital yet,” I whispered. She sped away laughing her head off.

Is it okay to be a virgin? Well. It’s like asking me whether it was okay to be an uncorrupted Ghanaian. Of course that’s what we all are supposed to be- uncorrupted Ghanaians. In spite of all the corruption that unrighteously slams us in the face each day, it is okay to be patriotic. It is very okay not to join the bandwagon of “Ghana is not for my father” chorus singers. It is okay to be different. It is very okay to stand for what’s not only good… but right.

We live in a sarcastic world that yells for perfection yet preaches perversion. What is morally right has become relative. Wrong is only wrong depending on who’s doing it. It can be akin to the US calling for the head of the terrorist somewhere in Afghan yet encouraging American homosexuals to stand for their rights. Rights may always not be right. A society with weak morals has a weak future because society is first built on the foundation of morals- our conscience.

I thought ‘sobolo’ was the cheapest commodity on the market until I asked for the price of sex. Sex, in today’s world, is cheaper than ‘sobolo’! It is freely given as a “thank you” gesture, birthday gift, congratulatory message, Christmas gift or even an Easter token. Chai!

We are unconsciously raising a generation that sees no responsibility to hold on to their chastity. I wonder how we want to win this war against corruption without preaching morality. The more decay there is in our moral set up, the more society crumbles down on its feet.

We preach immorality through some adverts. Sex will always sell but it will still create a hell. On all our media platforms, a day barely passes by without one being hinted on how they can boost their libido with some alcoholic beverage. Our songs carelessly glorify premarital sex. Our movies flaunt the curves of almost nude women who are almost looking at you through your screen hissing, “Come and get me!” Our minds are almost always filled with one obscene thought or another. Thanks to what we see, read and even listen to.

Some of our female celebrities grace the red carpet of shows in skimpy attires, sometimes shorts, exposing ‘hidden treasures’ and all I ask is, “Are you footballers to be dressed as such; even at this time of the day?” Well, they may call it showbiz or whatever. But… before showbiz came, there was conscience. If you need to expose your Borges oil-laced breasts to show how beautiful you are, then what you have is indeed very far from beauty.

Tell you what, being a virgin in this age is almost considered as an eight world wonder. Our misled thoughts make us believe so. The norm has become abnormal. You seem to be out of this world not to have ‘stolen’ what was supposed to be ‘eaten’ within the confines of marriage. In a world where our movies, songs, news tabloids and celebrities are influencing us more than our own conscience, morality will obviously be thrown to the dogs. In a world where young unmarried couples are already busily playing husband and wife, sex tapes and other moral ills will be the order of the day.

Are we surprised there are more weddings yet even more divorces in our age? Are we the least surprised of the heartless loot by those we give power to? After all, there’s no conscience. There’s no morality. There’s no accountability whatsoever.

Listen. It is okay to cling onto your dignity. It is okay not to soil your integrity. If everyone is doing so, at least, your name is not everyone. Dare to stand out. Dare to stand on the side of what is morally right. You won’t go mad for that. Haha.

Dating is not marriage. Courtship isn’t either. No matter how well you try to be diplomatic about it, premarital sex is still fornication! The danger of driving a relationship that runs on the wheels of fornication is that intermittently you need to slam on the brakes of heartbreaks! Many of us have messed up our private parts into ‘public parts’ because of such repeatedly avoidable experiences. We would have been safer if only we had zipped up our pants.

To my young bachelors and spinsters, it is possible to hold on to your sexual purity not because of an absence of opportunity but because of a presence your morality. It is self-discipline. It is humanly possible to be an unmarried virgin without going mad. Haha. Anyway, I am one. And… stop staring at me with those looks as though I am an alien who just dropped from Pluto. Chai!

The writer is a playwright and the Chief Scribe of Scribe Communications, a writing company in Accra. (www.scribecommltd.com)

Columnist: Kobina Ansah