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The 'God will look after us' mentality

Kobina Ansah Scribe Kobina Ansah

Sat, 30 Jul 2016 Source: Kobina Ansah

It’s quite amazing how we tend to gloss over everything in the name of spirituality. We over-spiritualize almost every aspect of our lives making such lives lopsided. We care less for details and doing things right with the hope of “God will look after us!”

Can you imagine how much of our lives we have wasted because we shoved our responsibility under the carpet? Just take a cursive look at our nation. Couldn’t we have, at least, been better than we are now if we had been more responsible instead of heaping such responsibility on God?

God will definitely look after us. He always has. However, we can’t throw our responsibility to the dogs and still expect Him to look after us. We can’t look away from common sense and expect Him to look after us. It’s just that simple.

I have been talking a lot about marriage lately. Maybe yours truly will be walking someone’s daughter down the aisle very soon. Chai! Fact is, I love family matters. I have a heart for relationships and doing things the right way.

When it comes to weddings especially, trust me, I’m one archaic dude. I was born in this technology era but I’d prefer a small, modest wedding to a big one. Well… maybe small is relative but I’d prefer saving more for a marriage and spending less on a wedding.

I was having a chat with a friend recently on the trends of today’s weddings; the convoy of a bridal team, the multiple-storey cake, the festival of an event, among others. I asked him, “So if all you have in your account, as young as you are, is GHC14,000, how much would you spend to wed?”

He assured prophetically, “All.”

I gaped, “All? What happens after the wedding?”

He exclaimed prayerfully, “Oh God will look after us!” I spewed, “God will what? Like seriously?”

I can imagine how many young folks are walking around with this “God will look after us” mentality. They waste their all on a wedding forgetting wedding is not marriage… and marriage not wedding. All their attention is on a day’s event when they haven’t even prepared for their marriage enough. Listen. God will not look after you. Fortunately or unfortunately, you need to look after yourselves!

God will not rain money on you after depleting your account. God will not stash your account with bags of money because you’re married. No! You need to be responsible for your lives.

Wedding is a want and marriage is the need. A wedding should not break your account. Many marriages have grounded to a halt because there was no money to live on after the wedding… aside the debts accrued. Why start marriage on a note of indebtedness? Why put yourselves in such an avoidable mess? It is hard to do a simple wedding lately. Agreed.

However, it is even harder to live without money after a wedding. It is such a hell on Earth. Don’t ‘cut and paste’ someone’s wedding onto yours. Do you know how theirs was funded? Do you know how much they had left after such? Don’t ruin a beautiful relationship with needless expenses that will only add up to your woes!

After a wedding, make sure you go home as a happy couple… not bankrupt double.

Don’t try to satisfy others when it’s beyond your budget. If you can’t afford a buffet, for instance, don’t kill yourself over it. The first test of Adam and Eve was the forbidden fruit they were supposed not to eat. The first test of today’s couple is a wedding. The marriage hinges a lot on whether they can manage their resources well… whether the bride can cut her gown according to her purse… in spite of what society thinks.

Cut down on the waste. If it is not needful, cut it out. If it is too expensive, opt for a less expensive one. Quality doesn’t always come in a costume of gold. Quality doesn’t always mean expensive. The bottom line is it should be within your means. Take that responsibility. Don’t leave it to God. Have enough to spend on your marital expenses; health, rent, education, etc.

If you want to impress others, you will be depressed. If you want to follow trends, you may have to run your marriage on a wheel of hunger and pain. You may spend the rest of your life running from your creditors. Hear this. Many today have needless depression because of a needless obsession to create a needless impression. Absolutely needless!

I’m not saying go wear an ‘aboboyaa’ gown on your wedding day. Neither did I say opt for an ‘aboski’ suit. All I’m saying is spend less on a wedding so you have enough for the marriage. Everyone would forget how big your wedding was after only a week, hence, spend wisely.

God will look after you after spending recklessly on a wedding? Really? Did you show Him your budget? Did He have a taste of your five-storey cake? Well… it’s your headache.

Love is not supposed to be expensive. Mind you, you can make it look it indeed is… and God has no hand in it.

Columnist: Kobina Ansah