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The Right Person

Sun, 20 Nov 2005 Source: Ayiku, Charles Nii

Identifying some one you can call ?the right Person" for a long-lasting relationship can be very difficult. In Ghana and other parts of the world, a lot of people have faced a lot of disappointments, embarrassments and other problems in their love relationship due to their inability to find that true and right person.

We all have different approaches when it comes to defining and identifying who that right person is. Whilst some use physical appearances, others believe in the character, otherwise known as the inward beauty. A friend mentioned to me the other time that, most people especially men has been blinded by the physical beauty.

In a discussion I had with some Ghanaian friends on this issue, most of the ladies told me that, they see physical appearances as a way by which a man can be attracted to them. In their description of the right man, they said he must be a tall guy with broad chest with hair, flat stomach and educated. He should be employed, and have what they call the three Cs, that is, Cash, Car and Cellphone. He should be romantic and ready to shower them with gifts and also serve as their financial backbone.

The description from the men I spoke to was very interesting, according to them, she must have a beautiful body with the right curves at the right places, no irregular hip shape, rather round and firm. The breast should be also be firm and pointed. She must also have a good level of dress sense. One other interesting part of my discussion with the guys was the way one of them was using both hands to describe the physical features of who ?the right person? is.

But then, both guys and ladies were quick to add that, he or she must have a good character and also well-behaved. So I asked them why, physical appearance first (as I realized they were all focusing more on that rather than the character) Most of them said, it is the physical appearance that would attract them to that person.

The question is, is the physical always ?sweet? or ?right?? And what should we focus on first, physical or character?

We may have our personal reasons. But for me, I suggest we consider the character and traits first and not just the physical appearance before concluding that one is the right person to be with. And in doing that, I have suggested the following questions that might help you in your present or future relationships please think through it and let these questions guide you in your decision-making process.

1. Does he or she get along with your family and friends? With this, I mean, is he or she ready to help your parents when his/her help is needed? Can he/she be friends with your friends?

2. Does he/she make a real effort to get to know and love the most important people in your life?

3. Does he/she nag at the least issue?

4. Does he/she love you for who you are and not who you pretend to be?

5. Does a surprise visit or phone call to him/her lit him/her up?

6. Is he/she forgiving?

7. Are there signals like, lack of basic honesty?

8. Does he or she mock at you often? Some people enjoy mockery, but it can be dangerous

9. Are there also signals of pettiness and vanity? This can be a sign of superficiality.

These are my suggestions. This article is not meant to break relationships, but rather to build and maintain proper relationships. Please remember that, none of these traits is evil or wrong ? just human. But they are things that you shouldn?t ignore or deny. Look at them clear-sightedly and make your decisions based on what you truly want in your life. Good Luck!

Views expressed by the author(s) do not necessarily reflect those of GhanaHomePage.

Columnist: Ayiku, Charles Nii