The danger of cohabitation part 1

Cohabitation has become very common in this contemporary world due to a number of reasons. Cohabitation is a situation of living with another person and having sexual relationship with him/her without being married. It can be a woman living with a man or a man living with a woman under one roof whiles not married but live as married couples. Exclusive to www.adwoaadubianews.com.

Why do Cohabitation occur?

Accommodation challenge:

Sometimes partners in love find themselves in one vicinity and a situation where one might be struggling financially. That partner will opt to stay in the other partner’s house, claiming that he or she do not have the financial capacity to rent an apartment and since they are lovers preparing to tie the knot, there is nothing wrong staying under one roof. Some also do so as a means of saving cost of renting additional room or apartment. Sometimes, one of the partners may lure the other to stay together to save money for the marriage ceremony. He or she will convince the other that, in order to prepare and get married soon, taking huge sums of money to rent separate apartment is a waste of money and therefore they should opt to stay together and use the other money to make the marriage preparation.

Family pressure on the lady/guy not to give the partner a space to play:

Some Parents advice their child to pack their belongings and stay with their partner to false him/her to marry, as other rivals may be making first move. These lovers start by leaving some of their belongings at the partner’s house whenever they pay visit. This is done continuously until all the belongings are moved to the partner’s house, then the whole being is added by making sleep-overs. You then become stuck there and finds it difficult to pack your belongings back. When someone is committed to the relationship, it doesn’t need you to cohabit to commit him/her to marriage. He or she can still disappoint you even when you stay in the same apartment and under one roof.

Broken home (Mom and Dad divorced) or Neglect by family members:

This is one of the most painful situation that leads people to cohabit. Sometimes when there is always confusion between the married couples that tends to hinder the peace and harmony of the child, he or she is compelled to move out and stay with someone he or she may obtain comfort and peace of mind. On the other hand, when the parents have divorced and lives apart with children staying at one of the parent’s house, some children are polluted as they visit the other spouse. When it reaches the extent of discomfort or disregard to child’s well-being, the child will be compelled to seek support externally and if it happens that he/she can find it in a relationship where both partners stay together without performing the marriage rites, cohabitation is likely to occur. Some people in this situation may also seek help from their extended family, when they also turn their back on them, then they see no option than staying with the partner in intimate relationship while they are not yet married to each other.

Financial challenge or for financial support:

There are instances that some partners will demand the other to come and stay with them before financial assistance could be granted in times of difficulties or financial instability. It might not be the will of the victim, but for lack of support from family and friends, he or she may resort to cohabitation to get the desired financial support. This has consequences which we will be looking later on.

Insecurity in the intimate relationship:

At some point in the relationship, one of the partners might be cheating on the other or behave in a way that may cause the other partner to feel unsecured in the relationship. In order to secure the relationship, some resort to cohabitation; thinking that will make them safe in the relationship. I know of a lady who tried this; it was not enough to secure the relationship. She stayed with the man and yet still the man brought another woman into the house; this woman was married to the man without the other woman’s consent. She then had nothing to do than to pack her belongings and leave the house after making all effort to break their marriage.

Intention to explore the internal and behavioural characters of partner:

I want to personally find out if my partner is a bed wetter or a snorer; I can only find this when I sleep over severally with him or her. I also want to know what he or she is actually up to, and the real character when we marry and stay together. I want to find out all these, in order to know whether I have to commit myself to the relationship or go my way. These are some of the reasons some people choose to cohabit. Logically it sounds good, but maritally “stupid”. Stupid in the sense that most of people who try this, get stuck in the house and later get dumped because of this.

One thing you must know as a woman is that; going to stay with a man who has not yet performed your marital rites is a significance that you are not worth or a valuable material that needs to be bought but can be taken freely. This is because, when you go and stay with him, you will cook, wash, clean and have sex freely; and no one pays for something that is free. Another notable thing for the man cohabiting is that; no family member will mind you for the time you engage in cohabitation, but when an issue that needs the interference of the woman’s family comes up, that is where you will know where the power lies. You will never forget the punishment that the woman’s family will give you at that moment. We shall continue with the Effects and Remedies in the second part.