The funny side of Prophet Kobi’s stochastic spirituality

Badu Kobiz Prophet Emmanuel Badu Kobi

Wed, 8 Jun 2016 Source: Kwarteng, Francis

Prophet Emmanuel Badu Kobi, founding leader of Ghana’s Glorious Waves Church International, reportedly made the following spiritual forecast for Ghana’s 2016 general elections:

“There will not be a second round, John Mahama will get 50 percent plus, but I saw us voting the next day which is 8th; which simply means some places across the country will vote the next day… We must pray because some section of Ghanaians will not understand and those who will not understand will, this time, create confusion.”

What this means among other possible scenarios is also that, the New Patriotic Party (NPP), its leadership and teeming supporters must pack their things and go home—because God has already unilaterally declared President Mahama the ultimate winner of the yet-to-be-held presidential elections.

But why should God be involved in Ghana’s general elections?

Is God an ultimate embodiment of the elective franchise—manifested and enacted through popular sovereignty?

No, the vote does not represent the conscience of God! It is exclusively and purely a man-made—anthropogenic—artifact. For if it were not the case, then God will be usurping the “free will” of man, the rational choice component of the intellect, and the authority of the Electoral Commission (EC).

This leaves out the role of the atheist in divinely inspired matters of political action and his association with the concomitant variables of intellectual, philosophical and emotional investments in the elective franchise.

But as may should be expected, this is not why we are here in the first place.

And if this is so, it leaves the ultimate question of why the clergy should turn matters of physical existence—such as electoral politics—into one of political spirituality, that is spiritual “lotto” forecasting—remains either not properly asked or insufficiently addressed—or even un-interrogated.

In this scenario, the “spiritual” Prophet Kobi now becomes the secular “lotto forecaster” in the popular parlance of the Ghanaian.

Yet we are also told by these same self-styled Men of God, that “chance” as a critical actuation of stochastic phenomenology, has no place in the transcendental Cartesian coordinates of spiritual existence. In other words, “chance” does not matter as a pre-determined factor in spiritual existence.

An idea contrary to the so-called Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle—the theory of quantum mechanics, which may also seem to confirm one of Albert Einstein’s famous quotes:

“God does not play dice with the universe.”

The agnostic, the secular spiritualist, and the pantheistic Einstein also once admitted in a couple of his private letters:

“I do not believe in a personal God and I have never denied this but have expressed it clearly. If something is in me, which can be called religious, then it is the unbounded admiration for the structure of the world so far as our science can reveal…

“My position concerning God is that of an agnostic. I am convinced that a vivid consciousness of the primary importance of moral principles for the betterment and ennoblement of life does not need the idea of a law-giver, especially a law-giver who works on the basis of reward and punishment.”

Einstein here is—no doubt—part Baruch Spinoza, part Stephen Hawking (see his book “A Brief History of Time”), part himself…and the remainder the seen and unseen worlds!

In other words, in just one statement he [Einstein] makes a sweeping rejection of a personal God in his worldview and puts the rational intellect instead in his [God’s] stead.

This, combined with his observation that “God does not play dice with the universe,” may eliminate any space for “chance” and pre-determinism in material existence.

It is, however, not too clear whether this maverick thinking played any role in his opposition to quantum mechanics though his work on photoelectric effect, for which he won a Nobel Prize, contributed to the formulation of quantum theory.

Yet the two-part attribution provides a level of clarity as not to require additional discursive layer of belaboring.

In addition, while we may never know if the word “Waves” in the name of Prophet Kobi’s church is beyond the obvious, that is whether it has any relation to theoretical physics, we do know that Austrian theoretical physicist Erwin Schrödinger offered an exquisite mathematical expatiation on the “wave theory of matter.”

In addition, “man” is fundamentally “matter.”

All of these is to underscore the importance of the concepts of “certainty” and “probability”—one way or the other—in Prophet Kobi’s spiritual mathematics; perhaps an artifact of a confused psychology of dilemma—a state of political, spiritual, diplomatic, intellectual and moral ambiguity.

The fact is, his spiritual coin-toss or coin-flip probability is not based on a “fair coin” but rather on a “biased coin” or “unfair coin,” in that he totally rules out the other presidential players in the political game of Ghana’s kleptomaniacal duopoly beyond the familiar faces of Akufo-Addo and President Mahama.

Furthermore, his stochastic spirituality does not account for the “50 percent plus” and whether a possible large negative margin of error exists to erode that “one-touch” victory…Maybe the concept “margin of error” does not exist in spiritual existence since “chance” is not a factor there!

On the other hand, one of the obvious corollaries of such spiritualized mathematical falsities is the intended and unintended ideological ammunition it gives political Luddites and reprobates, such as the infamous “taxi driver” or “uber” politician—Maxwell Kofi Jumah—who recently called Jon Benjamin, the British High Commissioner to Ghana, a “fool” for a charged situation he, Jumah, had no inside information about.

We are referring to the Allotey Jacob sensational political canard. The village champion and uncivilized Jumah has since apologized to the British High Commissioner for his diplomatic gaffe, uninhibited stupidity, and immaturity. Unfortunately, our “illiterate” journalists sporadically use the word “maverick” to describe Jumah as though he were some political or intellectual “quantum genius,” which he is evidently not. Jumah is the exact opposite of “genius.”

Having said that, what Prophet Kobi apocalyptically described as those likely to “create confusion” or mayhem in post-election include the likes of the incontinent philistine and verbally diarrheic politician, Jumah.

The latter’s “Operation Let the Blood Flow” is a natural corollary of Prophet Kobi’s misguided apocalyptic prophecy.

Uncivilized, immature politicians such as Jumah give fake clerics like Prophet Kobi moral and spiritual credibility in the body politic. It is as if the two are closely working together. Likewise, we may also recall a possible clandestine collaboration between Prophet T.B. Joshua and the National Bureau of Investigations (BNI), when the former came out with a sensational prophecy regarding an imminent terrorist attack in Ghana, a prophecy that the BNI later came out to confirm.

Yet it is Prophet Kobi’s surprising volte-face, a sudden retraction of his apocalyptic augury, a turnabout that may even erode his public respectability, which may be his undoing. Listen to him:

“I never said President Mahama would win the election…What I said was that I had a vision that there was an attempt to rig the election in favor of one of the candidates, and this could lead to violence and confusion…The issue of President Mahama winning one touch never came up at all…”

An attempt, not even an already accomplished or completed actionable execution?

He continues nonetheless:

“Spiritually, if you look at it, Nana Addo has won the election but how to make that manifest in the physical realm is another issue.”

How did the electorate give Akufo-Addo that electoral win in the spiritual realm? Were there no problems with the voters’ register in the spiritual realm? Did Voltarians vote in this election? How about Togolese, Burkinabes, Ivoirians, and extraterrestrials—Unidentified Flying Objects (UFOs)?

Did these foreigners bring along their NHIS cards? Was Madam Charlotte Osei,Chairperson of the EC or Afari Gyan in the spiritual realm? How exactly did Akufo-Addo win this “spiritual” election?

If Prophet Kobi’s God had indeed revealed to him that Akufo-Addo “spiritually” won the election, then it stands to reason that President Mahama may be the most likely candidate to snatch the covetous “spiritual” presidential prize from Akufo-Addo in the physical realm.

Of course, if this is true, then none of the other presidential candidate is best fit to carry out this “physical” “snatching” other than President Mahama. Why? Because he should have the motive and the resources to do this in order to retain his incumbency at all cost. This is common sense borne out of political realism.

Elsewhere, though, Prophet Kobi gives us some useful clues, an indirect allusion, as to the identity of the potential “physical snatcher.” He says (see second sentence, our emphasis):

“If Nana wants to win the election, he knows what to do. If he doesn’t do it, President Mahama will once again snatch victory [from] him.”

The word “again” implies that President Mahama has done this “snatching” before.

Maybe Prophet Kobi does not mean this in a negative sense, but what is the alternative to our theory if the other presidential candidates do not have the resources and unlimited power currently at the disposal of the Mahama presidency, not also forgetting that it was the same Mahama administration in collaboration with the ceremonial Council of Elders that appointed Madam Charlotte Osei?

Also if Nana Addo truly “knows what to do” to win the election, then what is he waiting for? and how can he sit down unconcerned while some hypothetical thief snatches that win from under him?

Is the NPP going to declare the results of the elections on its own-outside the constitutional jurisdiction of the EC-as Manu Mac suggests?

Is Akufo-Addo going to bring Serbian and South African mercenaries into the country to prevent this out-of-the-ordinary “snatching,” by forcing the hand of the EC to declare his presidential win, when the results actually do not say so?

Prophet Kobi does not exactly say.

Moreover, if he, Akufo-Addo, does not do what he should do and loses the elections on that account, how does that become the responsibility of President Mahama to snatch victory from under him?

All these do not add up as Prophet Kobi may have been threatened to reverse course or face the ire or wrath of the NPP in a potential Akufo-Addo presidency, hence his strained circumlocution.

Of course, Akufo-Addo always knows what the outcomes of his presidential bids will be because he has always been told exactly what they should be whenever he made trips to Europe and Jerusalem (“Wailing Wall”) where he had sought the face of God.

The major irony here is that more powerful men than King Solomon, Moses, Elijah, Nebuchadnezzar and Julius Caesar have sought the face of God on “Go Tell It To The Mountain” and still died instantly.

But Akufo-Addo, fortunately, has consistently sought the face of God on this “Go Tell It To The Mountain” and yet survived it all, still living.

Are Akufo-Addo’s teeming enemies and detractors not afraid of him by virtue of this great miracle?

To Prophet Kobi, if the NPP should pray for their leader as you say, what then should be done about those who may have initially decided to vote for him [Akufo-Addo] but, somehow, change their minds to vote either for President Mahama or for any of the other presidential candidates? Moreover, what if, perchance, Akufo-Addo and President Mahama pass on before the general elections are held?

Thus, Prophet Kobi makes it seem that Akufo-Addo is more important than the electorate—as the latter cannot vote for himself for a win without contributions from the electorate.

The question is:

Who is going to pray for the electorate who can “snatch” this potential presidential win for Akufo-Addo and hand it over to President Mahama?

Again, Prophet Kobi does not say. This gloss constitutes the funny side of Prophet Kobi’s stochastic spirituality. In other words, he does not ask that the EC and electorate be prayed for.

Therefore, we wonder if it was God rather than Akufo-Addo who appeared in Prophet Kobi’s second vision after the backlash from the NPP.

We also wonder if Akufo-Addo had threatened to unleash a new batch of Serbian and South African mercenaries upon him.

Yet this was the same Prophet Kobi who made a public appeal to Ghanaian citizens, entreating them to help him locate or unravel the mysterious identity of a character that had posted a video online claiming he had prophesized about Bishop Obinim’s greatness which, among other spiritual manifestations, included his [the latter’s] much-vaunted therianthropic prowess.

Listen up, K.K. Kabobo’s says “Onyame Eho Wo.”

Ungrateful, hypocritical liars.


Ghanaweb. “Prophet Kobi: I Never Said Mahama Will Win ‘One-Touch.’” June 6, 2016.

Ghanaweb. “2016 Election Is One-Touch For Mahama—Prophet Kobi.” June 4, 2016.

Ghanaweb. “2016 Polls: Jumah Hints Of ‘Operation Let The Blood Flow.’” June 6, 2016.

Kelly Dickerson. “One Of Einstein’s Most Famous Quotes Is Often Completely Misinterpreted.” Science. November 19, 2015. (see the website for “Critical Thought: Religious Liberty).

Christopher Hitchens. “The Portable Atheist.” New York: Da Capo Press, 2007, P. 155-165.www.stephenjaygould.org.

Columnist: Kwarteng, Francis