To My Uncle Tarkwa Atta – A Tribute (14)

By Kwame Okoampa-Ahoofe, Jr.

Uncle Tee,

you wouldn’t believe this,

but there are a few

of your nephews

and nieces

who seem to be recovering

the use of

their thinking caps;

the smartest one

amongst them

wants a library

of failed leadership

erected in your name –

this is amazing

because she was always

the village idiot

all the while that

I have known her;

you guessed right,

she is the one

who has been

dogging me

all over the place

in bikinis

and hooker-boots

trying to snatch

a piece of

my peppermint

pie,

but I refuse to

budge;

she is too brazen

and uncouth

for my taste;

and besides,

she is such a whore

one begins

to wonder

if one of your sisters

hadn’t practiced

that ancient trade

in Lagos Town

or Bukom Square;

there is no man

in the land

who has neither seen

nor touched

her buns;

oversized lips,

devil’s tuft grass

of hair,

flat and

hirsute chest

and all,

she still claims to be

the belle

and pride

of that rat-hole

of a town

from whence

she hails…

but I am not

budging;

and if I decide

to give her

a split-second’s

playtime,

I may have to

cover and shut

my eyes hard

and think of

a pretty

dame

I used to

date,

or I would

have to throw up

and wash

the entire ordeal

down with

whisky-on-rocks…

8/3/12