Marriage is the state of being a married couple
voluntarily joined for life (or until divorce), and it is a holy solemnization because
it is stated clearly in Genesis 2 : 24 and it states that man and woman are
joined together and become one flesh. But the fact of marriage is that instead
of it being an interesting solemnization with a fruitful end, it has become a
union of the "unloved" that ends up bringing enemies and hardship to
children that come out of that union.
A common theme of the modern world is that the
causes of marriage breakdown are complex, diverse and interactive and that no
single factor can be isolated as the most significant or important reason for
marriage breakdown. Some of the factors that leads to the breakdown of marriage
are: unemployment and work related
problems, unemployment not only has the effect of causing financial
hardship but also lowers self esteem, creates isolation and limits the ability
of families to lead fulfilling lives in the community, due to financial
pressures and fear of losing employment, are working longer hours with a
consequent reduction in time for family. This in turn places additional stress
and pressure on family life. Most families or marriages breakup because mostly
the couples use much of their finances to wed which sometimes are extravagant
in nature. Poverty and financial strains are a major factor in family breakdown
in the world now.
Another factor apart from financial
strains is communication, most families spend less time together and the inability
of various couples to communicate effectively with each other is an outcome of
this. This is exacerbated by some employers who refuse to recognize that
workers have family responsibilities. When there is poor communication then
each person in the relationship is not getting the whole story as to why the
other feels a certain way, some times it is due to an incompatibility. Apart from
the inadequate effective communication, most couples are having a very hard
time with open, honest communication which in turn leads to issues with trust.
I also think people are too easily led by lust rather than reason.
Parenting
is another factor that leads to divorce or marriage breakups, when a
partner gets to know that the other partner is not doing his or her best in the
caring of the household they blame each another for a number of reasons. Three main
things couples argue about are money, sex and how to raise their kids and these
types of issues mostly bring divorce or marriages breakup. Some times Infidelity,
poor problem solving skills, marrying for the wrong reasons (not a good match)
also causes marriage breakup in this modern world.
One of the
most common issues that cause breakups in marriages is; change in personality
and family life which results in arguing and fighting. Couples some times feel
that after marriage there is the need for change in character, this change in
character are mostly bad since they are mostly negative. The married men and
women attitude to each other changes and at the worse moments things become
unbearable and therefore there only solution that becomes available to them is breakup.
There are other causes we see a lot, but not quite
as often as those listed above .They are: failed expectations or unmet needs,
addictions
and substance abuse, physical, sexual or emotional abuse and Lack of conflict
resolution skills.
In summary it can be said that the major causes or
the factors that leads to marriage breakup are: Poor communication, financial
problems, lack of commitment to the marriage, A dramatic change in priorities and
Infidelity . In order to prevent marriage breakup and for couples to live
peacefully i they must learn to love and never to lust and any marriage with thick
does not mean that it will not work but time and patience allows love and
marriage to grow beyond all circumstances.
Couple must learn to solve problems by themselves. Love counts.
Miss Gayda
Akomah Pratt
Marriage counsellor
Gayda4u@yahoo.com
