Ugliness Behind Matrimony.

Marriage is the state of being a married couple

voluntarily joined for life (or until divorce), and it is a holy solemnization because

it is stated clearly in Genesis 2 : 24 and it states that man and woman are

joined together and become one flesh. But the fact of marriage is that instead

of it being an interesting solemnization with a fruitful end, it has become a

union of the "unloved" that ends up bringing enemies and hardship to

children that come out of that union.

A common theme of the modern world is that the

causes of marriage breakdown are complex, diverse and interactive and that no

single factor can be isolated as the most significant or important reason for

marriage breakdown. Some of the factors that leads to the breakdown of marriage

are: unemployment and work related

problems, unemployment not only has the effect of causing financial

hardship but also lowers self esteem, creates isolation and limits the ability

of families to lead fulfilling lives in the community, due to financial

pressures and fear of losing employment, are working longer hours with a

consequent reduction in time for family. This in turn places additional stress

and pressure on family life. Most families or marriages breakup because mostly

the couples use much of their finances to wed which sometimes are extravagant

in nature. Poverty and financial strains are a major factor in family breakdown

in the world now.

Another factor apart from financial

strains is communication, most families spend less time together and the inability

of various couples to communicate effectively with each other is an outcome of

this. This is exacerbated by some employers who refuse to recognize that

workers have family responsibilities. When there is poor communication then

each person in the relationship is not getting the whole story as to why the

other feels a certain way, some times it is due to an incompatibility. Apart from

the inadequate effective communication, most couples are having a very hard

time with open, honest communication which in turn leads to issues with trust.

I also think people are too easily led by lust rather than reason.

Parenting

is another factor that leads to divorce or marriage breakups, when a

partner gets to know that the other partner is not doing his or her best in the

caring of the household they blame each another for a number of reasons. Three main

things couples argue about are money, sex and how to raise their kids and these

types of issues mostly bring divorce or marriages breakup. Some times Infidelity,

poor problem solving skills, marrying for the wrong reasons (not a good match)

also causes marriage breakup in this modern world.

One of the

most common issues that cause breakups in marriages is; change in personality

and family life which results in arguing and fighting. Couples some times feel

that after marriage there is the need for change in character, this change in

character are mostly bad since they are mostly negative. The married men and

women attitude to each other changes and at the worse moments things become

unbearable and therefore there only solution that becomes available to them is breakup.

There are other causes we see a lot, but not quite

as often as those listed above .They are: failed expectations or unmet needs,

addictions

and substance abuse, physical, sexual or emotional abuse and Lack of conflict

resolution skills.

In summary it can be said that the major causes or

the factors that leads to marriage breakup are: Poor communication, financial

problems, lack of commitment to the marriage, A dramatic change in priorities and

Infidelity . In order to prevent marriage breakup and for couples to live

peacefully i they must learn to love and never to lust and any marriage with thick

does not mean that it will not work but time and patience allows love and

marriage to grow beyond all circumstances.

Couple must learn to solve problems by themselves. Love counts.

Miss Gayda

Akomah Pratt

Marriage counsellor

Gayda4u@yahoo.com