Menu

When Marriage Is A Cover Up

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 Source: virgo1798@gmail.com

I first met my husband at the university of Legon, where I was pursuing a course in physics and he was studying Business Management, already in his second year. As a matter of fact, the university campus was the last place on earth I was expecting to find love, mainly due to the fact that I wasn't there for romantic purpose or gain, but rather for education. I was vehemently determined more than anything else in the world to get my masters degree at all cost, before venturing towards the path of love and marriage, but not only that, I came from a dynasty of strong, educated fearless and brave women, who were achievers in their own right and I mean women, who could go toe to toe with men, correct them if they are found to be wrong and put them in their place when and if necessary.

Some say that love is a fate designed and that when it calls you no matter where you're at a specific moment in time, you don't mistaken its voice for a foe, but rather for a friend. And so when I met this handsome man who was somehow destined to be my future husband and father of my children, I knew that love had come, albeit unexpected. I discovered once we started dating that he was great lover of knowledge, fine arts and literature, something which the both of us had in common by the way, one other thing which we also had in common was that, both our parents belonged to the high society, his father was the ambassador of Ghana in Canada and my father was and is a very successful entrepreneur, but we pretty much considered ourselves quite ordinary, you know, your everyday people?

My husband became an official graduate of the University of Legon when he mastered in Business Management and got his degree, shortly after, through the help of his father he was able to secure a job in Canada, I graduated two years later in physics and decided to put work on hold, but my father was adamant, that I join the family business as his personal assistant, his back and call, I complied, though not happy without my love around. After my husband had gone to Canada for about a year, both him and his father arranged for me to come to Canada not only to live, but also to work and so I packed up and left Ghana for Canada, where we officially decided to tie the knot.

Life in Canada was a bit stressful and with all the paperwork which came with our respective occupations, there was absolutely no time left for us to even enjoy the financial benefits and rewards of our professions, let alone incorporate a child, but somehow as fate would have it, I became pregnant and gave birth to our first male child, which meant that I had a full time occupation at home now, with my husband being away and at work, sometimes till late in night before he would come in, completely exhausted and starving I must add.

His occupation as Senior Project Manager, meant long hours at work and less hours at home, except of course for the weekends, which offered us a chance to be together as a family. And as much as I would have loved to see him come home earlier from work during the weekdays, I couldn't persuade him and even though I knew that he was under no pressure whatsoever from whomever to outshine himself at his work, he kept on coming home late and it wasn't long before our weekends became working days for him, his boss would sometimes call him during the weekends and he would just up and go, leaving me alone in the house for our hours before he would return exhausted.

My elder sister who is living in London invited us over for a visit, my husband could not go, stating that he was too preoccupied with his work to leave and so I decided to go for the both of us, he drove me off to the airport, had me wait for the airplane and drove back home, like he was in a hurry for something or someone, whilst at the airport for some hours, the announcement came in that my flight has been rescheduled to fly tomorrow and so that meant going back home again. I gave my husband a call so that he could come pick me up, but his phone was switched off and so I charted a Taxi. The first thing that I saw once I got back home was the open bottles of wine and its permeated scent in our living room, I called out my husband's name, but no answer and so after calling my sister to inform her about the change of plan, I made my way to our bed room upstairs to get me some rest and there in our bedroom, I saw my husband asleep on our bed with another man lying next to him.

In my state of shock, I managed to scream so loud which awoke both of them, with my husband chasing me downstairs, telling me he could explain and the only explanation which he could do, was to tell me that the man in bed with him is his boss and that he was doing whatever both of them were doing upstairs in our bedroom, to obtain a very important promotion at his job. He further went on to say that when promoted, he would be able to spend more time at home with me and our baby boy, something which he asked I wanted very much, didn't I?

When I asked him whether he was gay or not, he replied with a no, I further asked him how long this relationship had been going on and he told him this particular incident, was his very first and last experience, my eyes welled up in tears, because I knew he was lying, I had an eerie feeling earlier on when he was coming home late from work that something wasn't right, but I couldn't bet certainty on it. I had a woman's intuition of him cheating on me, but never in a million years, did I expected him to cheat on me with a man, you know?

My husband and I separated immediately after this abominable incident and I decided to move back home to Ghana with our baby boy, who also died from a rare hart complications shortly after. I must say that my life is in complete shambles and disarray, I've lost faith in so many things, however I believe that the Almighty God doesn't burden a soul beyond its scope. Sometimes I blame the death of my son on his father's sins, but I could be wrong. I have not yet come to understand why my husband did what he did to himself and to me, I mean had he told me that he was gay, I would've stayed in Ghana and minded my own affairs. I'm a woman who was brave enough to love, but nowadays both the sound and sight of love do frighten me, for I've been terribly scarred by the illusion of love and I fell that he used me to hide his sexual preference and this is what hurts me the very most of all.

Columnist: virgo1798@gmail.com