When ministerial vetting needs more 'Akpi' dance and axes

The hallowed halls of Parliament practically vibrated with the righteous indignation of the Minority Leader. Apparently, demanding a potential Deputy Minister of Attorney General to demonstrate the "Akpi" – a dance requiring the grace and poise of artistic dancing. . .with an axe – was deemed "inappropriate" by the Chairman of the Appointments Committee.

Inappropriate? I say inspired! Surely, the Chairman missed a golden opportunity. Instead of halting proceedings and uttering the dreaded words, "Ranking Member, you're out of order," he should have facilitated a truly memorable moment of parliamentary theatre.

Imagine the scene: the nominee, initially hesitant, then bravely embracing his cultural heritage. A well sharpened axe, gleaming under the fluorescent lights, is presented. The drums begin, a primal rhythm echoing through the hall. The nominee begins to sway, a mesmerising display of cultural expression, ending with a graceful, yet pointing the grinded axe. . . directly towards the increasingly uncomfortable pesky Ranking Member.

Suddenly, unnecessary lines of questioning would cease. The air would thicken, not with political tension, but with a potent mix of awe and thinly veiled terror. Think of the efficiency! No more drawn-out interrogations, no more filibustering. A simple "Akpi" performance would be the ultimate litmus test, weeding out the truly committed from a mere mischievous committee member.

And frankly speaking, it would have been more entertaining than reading budget proposals. Let's inject some much-needed cultural flair into the seemingly sterile world of parliamentary proceedings.

Kikikikiki, after all, what better way to assess a nominee's judgment than by watching him skillfully wield a potentially lethal weapon?