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Why do l struggle to accept who l am?

Tue, 21 Apr 2020 Source: Dr. Annie Gaisie

Answering this question might be quite complex because our lives are very wide that there are areas in our lives we have no knowledge of. Sometimes, we do not see ourselves the way others see us.

For instance, we may think we are confident, whereas people around us feel that we are too proud and arrogant. Our behaviours, interests and other things that define us may change as we grow and are exposed to more experiences.

Society is always making us do or take on things that affects us without us realising. We want to be part of society, we want to be accepted. This comes with a price. We may not know or want to compare ourselves with others but we do.

How many times did you judge or criticise yourselves just because you thought you didn’t match up to what society accepts from you?

We rely on the acceptance of others to determine whether we are good enough or not.

I believe that the most important factor is that we misunderstand the idea of self-acceptance. We try to be whatever will get us the most approval and acceptance from others — we want to be perfect. All we need is to take a look at how social media is influencing and changing us.

The rule to self-acceptance is simple- You don’t need to care about what others would think, or if others would like you or not. If a person cares about you, they will accept you for who you are. If a person doesn’t accept you for who you are, that’s their business, you are still who you are.

Everyone has a unique perspective and something to offer the world around them. Often, we can’t see those opportunities because we are so caught up in what we should have done or who we think we should be.

Your mind becomes clearer and focused when you stop worrying about who you should be. You are able to see other people’s issues as their problems, not yours. Then you will begin to live your life the way you want.

By: Dr. Annie Gaisie, Psychologist - Addictive Behaviour.

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Columnist: Dr. Annie Gaisie

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