Why should we forgive?

Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a constant attitude.

~ Martin Luther KING JR.

Human beings constantly interact with each other. It’s love that makes relationships grow and thrive.

However, we can get hurt by others. The hurt can be deep and unsettling if it’s coming from the person we love.

We may feel let down or betrayed by such people.

The best response to hurt is forgiveness. By forgiveness we mean letting go of negative emotions, feelings, and attitudes we have towards those who have wronged or harmed us.

It’s a powerful and liberating process that can bring healing, growth and peace. It involves releasing the desire for revenge, resentment, and anger, and instead choosing to understand, empathize, and move forward.

We must all cultivate the habit of forgiving others. Nobody is perfect.

Sometimes, people do not even know that by their words or actions they have hurt others. These people may have problems with proper communication or their immaturity.

When you forgive, it’s not a favour for the one who has hurt you; you are the ultimate beneficiary. Bearing grudges against others is harmful. It’s like drinking poison with the expectation that your enemy will die. You’re the one who will suffer and probably lose your life.

Here are some cogent reasons to forgive others. Forgiveness can bring healing and emotional liberation to the one who forgives.

When you let go of resentment and bitterness, you can live with meaning and purpose. Instead of reliving past hurts, you can enjoy each moment and live life to the fullest.

Forgiveness may help reduce stress and anxiety. When painful experiences linger on for long periods, life can be stressful. It can lead to insomnia and other sleep disorders, loss of appetite, and feelings of unworthiness. It can undermine your ability to deliver at the workplace.

It can also disrupt your social life.

Forgiveness helps to improve your mental health and well-being. It allows for clarity of thoughts and builds confidence for you to function well wherever you find yourself.

Once negative thoughts and feelings are released, your vibrational frequency may soar, allowing you to manifest your dreams and desires more easily and effortlessly.

It helps in the restoration of broken relationships. When you forgive someone who has harmed you, that person can return to the relationship with ease.

Forgiving others can significantly contribute to our spiritual growth and enlightenment. It is the path we must take to be more and more like Jesus who is our greatest role model. Jesus encourages us to forgive and love our enemies. We must use love to conquer evil.

Again, when we forgive, there is personal freedom from bitterness and resentment. Doing away with such toxic emotions as bitterness, resentment and hatred, we get back true freedom. We release ourselves from the bondage of negative thoughts and feelings.

Forgiveness gives us the opportunity for self-reflection and growth. It is a process that takes time.

Taking time to reflect allows you to be gentle and patient with yourself as you take a more mature and responsible approach to resolving the issue.

What then are the benefits of forgiveness? According to medical experts, forgiveness leads to decreased blood pressure and heart rate. When we are stressed as a result of negative thoughts, emotions and bad feelings, these vital signs go up. They reduce when there is peace in our lives.

There is also improved sleep quality. You can’t have a peaceful sleep when there is tension and stress.

Forgiveness puts you on the path to increased empathy and compassion. When you experience pain and move through it, you will be merciful and compassionate to others in similar situations.

It also enhances your self-esteem and confidence. This will help you perform more effectively and efficiently.

Forgiveness contributes to better relationships and social connections. Forgiving others is a mark of humility. People will take you as their trusted companion.

Besides the above, forgiveness reduces anger and aggression.

When you have a large heart to forgive, you will hardly take retaliatory measures against those who have hurt you. You will not scream or hurl insults at those who have harmed you.

Lastly, it improves your physical and emotional health and immune function. Forgiveness is medicine for the soul. It strengthens your immune capabilities and wards off various psychosomatic maladies, allowing you live a healthy robust life.

To the steps to forgive we now turn.

First acknowledge the hurt and pain you’ve been through.

Accept your emotions and feelings. They naturally happen for everybody.

Choose to forgive by letting go of your negative thoughts, emotions and feelings. This will engender and foster healthy relationships.

You should reflect on the experience and grow by it. Become a better person by that experience.

Consider reconciling with the person who has hurt you. You do this by being empathetic and compassionate to them.

Practice self-care and self-compassion. Know that you’re vulnerable and forgive yourself.

Cultivate gratitude. It’s key that attracts abundance and improves relationships.

In a nutshell, forgiveness is a journey that takes time. It’s one of the challenges of life.

It’s difficult to achieve, but its numerous benefits are worth it. Be patient and gentle with yourself as you cultivate the habit of forgiving others. Forgiveness is more about you, not the one who’s offended you.

Lewis B. Smedes put it succinctly when he said, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”