Wife Vs. Mistress Part Deux – Alienation of What?

Sometimes, one hears a story so absurd that one can only dismiss it as nothing more than an urban legend/myth. And in the late ‘90s, that is exactly what I did upon hearing of a story centered on a law called Alienation of Affection. But recent headlines have given me reason to believe that, perhaps, this legislation is legitimate, so I decided to research it.

Apparently, Alienation of Affection – crudely referred to as the “jump-off law” by some – is valid and dates back to 1864. I will provide a brief summation of the law as opposed to boring you with its lengthy scope and history. The gist of it is, should a woman knowingly have an affair with a married man and, as a result, said man leaves his wife for his mistress, the former can sue the latter for damages. Huh?

Please, do not misconstrue this piece as an attempt to defend or justify the behavior of “home wreckers” – because that is the last thing I will ever do! Late last year, I wrote an article about wives and mistresses (Wife Vs. Mistress: Why Are You With That Married Man, Young Lady?); if you read that piece, then you are aware of my contempt for women who sleep with men who are already “taken”.

But my disdain for mistresses is not what I wish to discuss today. The issue for which I seek opinions is this: Should the judicial system provide a venue for wives to seek recourse against mistresses? Again, though I abhor the notion of sleeping with married men, I fail to see why a mistress should be held legally responsible for the dissolution of her lover’s union. For, after all, the concubine has not pledged allegiance to the wife!

The philandering husband, however, has moral and legal obligations to his better half; as such, it is incumbent upon him to stay loyal to his missus. Should he fail to uphold the aforesaid obligations, then, he alone is legally liable for the demise of the marriage. The mistress’ knowledge of her lover’s marital status is irrelevant. Though common decency dictates that she stay clear of the married man, whether she does so is at her discretion.

I’ve never understood why any self-respecting woman would sleep with a man who is already “taken”. And I have never been able to grasp why wives and girlfriends often attack the “other woman”. But that is neither here nor there. For the legal system to actually provide room for such pettiness is ludicrous, to say the least! Besides serving as an arsenal for jilted wives who seek vengeance, what else does this law accomplish? Isn’t this just another way to pit women against one other and, as a result, inflate men’s egos?

I empathize with women whose husbands or boyfriends have cheated on them. For it can be hurtful and humiliating for a woman to learn that the man who claims to love her is sleeping with someone else. Said woman may spend an exorbitant amount of time scheming a thousand ways to make the man feel as hurt and humiliated as she feels. And that is perfectly logical and understandable!

But to attack the “other” woman and subsequently litigate against her in a court of law, in my view, defies logic! The truth of the matter is that the mistress is really not the enemy: while the two of them are in court disparaging one another, the real adversary is out there – probably sleeping with another woman, thereby making a fool of both of them.

Though Alienation of Affection is outlawed in most U.S. states, it is still applicable in seven of them. Recent headlines of deserted wives suing mistresses have thrust this once obscured law into the limelight, an example being the former wife of professional basketball player Dwayne Wade suing one of my favorite Hollywood actresses, Gabrielle Union, on the grounds that Ms. Union caused her distress.

The more I listen to discussions concerning this legislation, the more it becomes apparent to me that some people – specifically women – would like to see it reinstated. Should all 50 states uphold this policy, it will not surprise me to learn that the rest of the world has followed suit. For as we all know, America is notorious for spearheading both great and horrid ideologies/policies – which the rest of the world tends to emulate, but I digress.

I have but one more question for the ladies: If the Alienation of Affection legislation were to be recognized in your respective country, would you, as a woman, litigate against the “home wrecker” who might have caused the demise of your relationship? Conversely, if you are a woman who has an affinity for sleeping with married men, what would be your reaction upon receiving a summons to appear in court to answer for your behavior? Of course, we are also interested in the views of our faithful and unfaithful men alike.

Lola, Washington, DC