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Some few months ago, before the coronavirus outbreak, I happened to accompany an old school mate to a funeral in one of the costal but rural areas in Ghana.
For me, it was not just showing a brotherly love, it was also an opportunity to get out of the City life and have a little feel of nature.
The funeral as usual, was a whole weekend activity. He had lost a cousin, in his early 40s. Leaving behind a wife and two daughters. The eldest child about 10 years, and widow about 35 years
While I retire to my rural hotel room after the burial, the thought of how this young widow will have to raise these beautiful kids on her own kept me wondering, if the late husband has any investment or some kind of insurance policy.
After some minutes of thinking, I decided to say a prayer for this family and commit them to the Hands of the All Mighty. After all, am human, and like the saying goes, God gives and takes. There was the usual Sunday service the next day, I skipped it and decided to take a walk on the beach. I know we will be heading to Accra shortly, and I want to have a feeling of the sea sand bare footed.
Right After the service, my friend told me they will be having a short family meeting, and we will be good to go right after. In order to have a justification for leaving the village early, He asked me to accompany him to the meeting, so he can use me as an excuse to leave, if the meeting should drag on.
The meeting arrangement was a bit strange. Only men over 40 years and only five old women were with them. After the deliberations, the widow and the two daughters were called to the meeting room, and they were handed over to a young man as their new husband and father. The man put his one hand over the widow and the other on the two kids, telling them he is going to take good care of them like the dead brother, and they should feel free to come over after the mourning time is over.
This was a bit strange for me, and I asked my mate if the widow knows the man, and if this culture practice was acceptable? He only smiled, and told me it is a normal practice, and the aim was not to have fatherless children.
After the meeting, we set off to Accra; we had two more passengers joining us for the ride. One was a retired pastor, from one of the very old orthodox churches. We had a lively discussion on the beauty of staying out of Accra, then it turns to the cultural practices in rural areas.
My friend told the old Rev, I was shocked to see the widow being given to the man as wife, and I felt it was not acceptable to the married man nor his wife. Strangely, the Rev, asked me if I had my Bible with me? I told him I have a downloaded Bible on my phone. He then asked me to open some verses and read.
Genesis 38: 6-10
6And Judah took a wife for Er his firstborn, whose name was Tamar. 7And Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the Lord; and the Lord slew him. 8And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother.
9And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. 10And the thing which he did displeased the Lord: wherefore he slew him also.
Ruth 4: 9-11
9 Then Boaz announced to the elders and all the people, “Today you are witnesses that I have bought from Naomi all the property of Elimelek, Kilion and Mahlon. 10 I have also acquired Ruth the Moabite, Mahlon’s widow, as my wife, in order to maintain the name of the dead with his property, so that his name will not disappear from among his family or from his hometown. Today you are witnesses!”
11 Then the elders and all the people at the gate said, “We are witnesses. May the Lord make the woman who is coming into your home like Rachel and Leah, who together built up the family of Israel. May you have standing in Ephrathah and be famous in Bethlehem. 12 Through the offspring the Lord gives you by this young woman, may your family be like that of Perez, whom Tamar bore to Judah.”
Deuteronomy 25:5-10
5 When brothers reside together, and one of them dies and has no son, the wife of the deceased shall not be married outside the family to a stranger. Her husband’s brother shall go in to her, taking her in marriage, and performing the duty of a husband’s brother to her, 6 and the firstborn whom she bears shall succeed to the name of the deceased brother, so that his name may not be blotted out of Israel. 7 But if the man has no desire to marry his brother’s widow, then his brother’s widow shall go up to the elders at the gate and say, “My husband’s brother refuses to perpetuate his brother’s name in Israel; he will not perform the duty of a husband’s brother to me.” 8 Then the elders of his town shall summon him and speak to him. If he persists, saying, “I have no desire to marry her,” 9 then his brother’s wife shall go up to him in the presence of the elders, pull his sandal off his foot, spit in his face, and declare, “This is what is done to the man who does not build up his brother’s house.” 10 Throughout Israel his family shall be known as “the house of him whose sandal was pulled off.”
Matthew 22 : 23-30
23 That same day the Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection, came to him with a question. 24 “Teacher,” they said, “Moses told us that if a man dies without having a son, his brother must marry the widow and raise up offspring for him.
25 Now there were seven brothers among us. The first one married and died, and since he had no children, he left his wife to his brother.
26 The same thing happened to the second and third brother, right on down to the seventh.
27 Finally, the woman died.
28 Now then, at the resurrection, whose wife will she be of the seven, since all of them were married to her?”
29 Jesus replied, “You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God. 30 At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.
Mark 12:20-31
20 Now there were seven brothers. The first one married and died without leaving any children. 21 The second one married the widow, but he also died, leaving no child. It was the same with the third. 22 In fact, none of the seven left any children. Last of all, the woman died too. 23 At the resurrection[a] whose wife will she be, since the seven were married to her?”
24 Jesus replied, “Are you not in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God? 25 When the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.
Thou we are to respect Authority including the church leadership, if their laws are not in consonance with that of God, we must follow that of The Most High and not human Law.
Acts 5:29
But Peter and the apostles replied, “We must obey God rather than any human authority.
Let us not try to play games with God’s laws in the Old Testament. Jesus warn us that he did not come to change any of his father’s laws. We turn to use the Old Testament only when we want to extract money from our members. Then neglect all the laws in the name of being in Grace. If we ignore any of God’s instructions to follow our own for him, in His eyes, we are not doing it for him, but rather rebelling against him.
Deut 6:25
For we will be counted as righteous when we obey all the commands the LORD our God has given us.
Deut 4:6 Therefore be careful to observe them; for this is your wisdom and your understanding in the sight of the peoples who will hear all these statutes, and say, ‘Surely this great nation is a wise and understanding people.’
Proverbs 28:9
If anyone turns a deaf ear to my instruction,even their prayers are detestable.
Telling men to stick to a livelong partner, while God requires them to be available for widows and fatherless children should the need be, is one of the biggest disobedience the modern church is propagating. God clearly started that a widow without a son must marry a brother or close relation. Even if the widow should have children, including sons, such an arrangement, enable the fatherless and the widow, not to feel neglected.
While widowers can easily get new wives to marry, it is not that easy for widows. God killed Onan for disobeying him, when he did not want to give the widow a child of her own. Onan may have his own children and wife, but he was expected by God to be a husband to the widow as well.
Perhaps despite the Bible’s emphasis on the aim of providing a “name” for a man who has died without children, the goal of God’s law is the protection of widows as well. A goal more passionately valued and pursued by women than men. For men, can easily have more partners whether married or not.
There is clear consequence for men, who disobeyed such laws, and certainly there will be blessing to men who obeys.
Deuteronomy 4:2
2 You shall not add to the word that I command you, nor take from it, that you may keep the commandments of the Lord your God that I command you.
The modern churches cannot be trusted in keeping God’s word. They have replaced God laws with western traditions. It is even more serious, if they deliberately replace God’s words with western indoctrination.
Isaiah 5:20-21
20 Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!
21 Woe unto them that are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight!
Lots of widows and fatherless children, could have been integrated into homes by now, if the churches, follows the true dictates of God. Men are using their wealth on v8s, and unnecessary luxuries while they could easily have provided homes for many.
Our ancient culture and traditions, will be more pleasing to God, than listening to these western propaganda, we call preaching.
If you are asked to take an ordinance vow, remember God’s laws may require you to be a husband to a widow of a relative as well.
