"Donor" Bolts With Alan's Billion

"Praise Allan Cash from whom all cash flows. Praise him all elephants here below, praise him above the kickback and PSI glow. Praise Allan the son and Kufuor the holy financier".

The above, is a section of Ghana's rendition of the doxology, as far as Allan’s waa waa waa cash matters are concerned.

Last Sunday, Allan Cash Kyeremanteng, via the benevolence (?) of certain benefactors (?) of his, was able to raise a whopping 13 billion (about $1.3 million) in a matter of 5 hours.

Such was the ability of Allan Cash to turn the International Conference Center into thriving capital market where that huge sum was raised in a matter of 5 or so hours.

Never mind Kuku Welsing Jones’ talk about he concentrating on reading the expression on the faces of the guests and so he did not hear the MC, Godwin Avenorgbor, announce the cash donations.

Well, the fund raising “hanya” (it was nothing but a charade to justify Allan’s cash-spreading) is not about to end, and this paper has stumbled on very salacious information that has it that, indeed, the whole event was nothing but “HANYA”

NPP insiders, who have spoken to this reporter, have it that the monies that were “donated”, were Allan’s own cash that he gave to the “donors” to “donate” at the fund raising dinner.

Yes, Allan Cash passed on cash to the “donors” for them to “donate”. Laugh if you feel like laughing, for that was the concert party antics that took place at Allan’s so-called fund raising dinner.

But the sweetness in the pudding is that, Allan Cash lost 1 billion in the process. How did Allan lose 1 billion? Read on.

According to the NPP insiders who spoke to this reporter, a certain Kwaku Boateng, who resides in Kumasi and belongs to the Manhyia constituency of the NPP, has bolted to the UK with Allan’s cash.

The said Kwaku Boateng, according to the NPP insiders, was given a cash cheque of 1 billion to “donate” at the fund raising dinner, but come Sunday evening, and the man was nowhere to be found.

Kwaku Boateng, not wanting to be left out of the cash that is flowing waa waa waa in the NPP, with the likes of Kwamena Bartels “coaching” his sweet sugary daughter and son-in-law to be richer by 4 billion cedis, cashed the money at one of the banks (banks’ name withheld for good reason) and jumped onto a plane last Friday and is currently enjoying his booty in the UK.

The said Kwaku Boateng, has apparently had a UK visa for the past three months and could not get money to buy a ticket and so for him, it was a God sent miracle when he was handed the 1 billion cheque for him to “donate” at the “hanya” fund raising dinner.

“Kwaku Boateng is one of us through and through but he told friends that after toiling so much for the party and getting nothing in return, he considered the 1 billion to be payment for his contribution to the party and has left town with the cash” the NPP insider sources said.

According to the sources, Kwaku Boateng is very much aware that Allan Cash cannot make noise about the missing “donation” hence the decision to bolt with the money.

“Allan cannot talk because if he talks, it would expose the fact that he gave money to people to come and donate” one source said.

Speaking to the issue on Citi FM’s Midday News on Tuesday, October 09, 2007, Kuku Welsing Jones, Spokesperson for Allan Cash, denied knowledge of the said Kwaku Boateng and said that if it is true that such a story is doing the rounds, then he has not heard it.

Without saying it in very explicit terms, Kuku Welsing Jones, conjectured that if indeed any such story is doing the rounds, then it could well be part of the propaganda agenda of some of the other factions in the NPP’s dog-bite-dog race to determine which of the 22+ aspirants would be able to win the contest and attempt to match the ever souring stature and popularity of NDC Presidential Candidate, John Evans Atta Mills. The cash certainly flowed the way of Allan Cash last Sunday but it is looking like Allan robbed himself to pay himself.