An experience with infertility as a pastor’s wife

Infertility is a disease of the male or female reproductive system defined by the failure to achieve a pregnancy after 12 months or more of regular unprotected sexual intercourse.

According to data and statistics from WHO, It affects millions of people – and has an impact on families and communities; and estimates suggest that approximately one in every six people of reproductive age worldwide experience infertility in their lifetime.

Though similar, no two-person experience will be exactly the same due to the various individual underlying medical and or lifestyle challenges that cause infertility coupled with socio-economic factors associated with dealing with it.

And while you might feel alone if you’re struggling with infertility, it’s quite common as 10 to 15 per cent of all married couples experience it.

In our case, we had to endure for five years after we got married to have our first child and today we have a very loving family of two boys and a girl.

My Story...

Most women spend a significant part of their late teens and early adulthood dreaming about their husbands, their perfect wedding, and the beautiful things life has to offer. I was no exception. In 2004, I met my husband at Maxima Junction, a suburb in Kumasi on a sunny day when I was at the bus stop with a friend waiting for a commercial vehicle to take us into town. A private car with a fine young gentleman stopped in front of us and offered to give us a ride. We got acquainted and upon alighting, we exchanged contacts and agreed to keep in touch.

Fast forward to 2009, we got traditionally married, and I was looking forward to starting a family immediately as this was part of my dream which my husband also shared. However, three, six, then nine months went by, and a full year had gone by without conception. Initially, our plan was to have our “white wedding” a month or two after our traditional one, but it had to be rescheduled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Finally, in 2011 we were able to have our white wedding, and the very next day, my husband, who was a banker, was ordained as a full-time pastor. Thus, I became a Pastor’s wife. However, for almost two years after being officially married, I had not conceived, and at this point, I was very worried.

We sought medical attention, and the Doctor told us not to worry because we were still in the early stages of our marriage. We went to the hospital for periodic checkups as we believe that faith is not just a mere confession but must be backed with action. Although I am a Pastor’s wife and believe in God and Prayer, I also believe that it is God who gives children and gives Doctors the knowledge to work on us.

During the third year of our marriage, I was transferred from the Suame branch to Offinso where I met a friend who educated me on Ovulation and my cycle. In the same year, a family friend, Mama Gifty, called my husband and I to the church to pray. After an hour of prayer, she led us to Trust Care Hospital, where the doctor did a particular test on me, and the result showed that I had a high level of prolactin.

The hospital had never conducted that particular test, but it happened that day. I knew within my spirit that God was at work and my breakthrough was due.

Waiting is a challenging thing to do, especially if you are waiting for the fruit of the womb. This is even more challenging when you are a Pastor’s wife, a model whom everyone looks up to, sometimes even to believe in the things they hear from the altar.

During our baby dedications at church, I carried babies to the altar, and I remember an instance where a couple had the opportunity to give thanks after dedicating their baby. When the wife took the microphone, she said, “Oh God, I thank you that you’ve given me a baby within my first year of marriage. Some are married for many years and have no babies…”

Her words pierced through my heart like a sword, and I wept when I got home. I asked God questions. I faced many dawn moments that affected my mood and everything.

I wasn’t happy until my Father-in-law, one day upon seeing a group picture we took, called me and said, “Akua, why are you so sad? It is me you are going to give grandchildren to, and I am not bothering you, so why are you so worried? It’s drawn all over you. Please cheer up!”

He gave me scriptures to encourage me, and since then, my countenance changed. I was no longer sad like Hannah; my heart was at rest.

My faith grew stronger as I meditated and prayed with Hannah's story and other scriptures on fruitfulness. Her story challenged my faith. The Bible says her rival, Peninah, provoked her sore, but her reason for praying for a son was to give him back to God to serve Him. Why do you need a child?

Is it to also provoke those who are provoking you, or to show off that you are capable? Hannah was bold to tell God she needed a son, and so I also told God that I needed two sons and one girl if He would bless me with three children.

One day, I went with my husband to buy a baby cot for the house, and every morning before I left for work, I would go to the cot and speak with my imaginary son, blowing him kisses, and then again in the evening. I did this for one year before seeing my manifestation. Sometimes, faith doesn't make sense. Remember Jesus' first miracle where He changed water into wine?

It made no sense, but the servants’ obedience gave them the miracle they needed.

In 2014, to God be the glory, we had our first son, and two years later, our second son, and finally our baby girl in 2019. It happened just as I discussed with God.

Our God is able to do exceeding and abundantly above all that we could ask or think, and His words are yea and amen.

Beloved, please don't give up on God because I know He's coming through for you as well. It's not easy, I understand, but strengthen yourself with what God says about fruitfulness and confess them to yourself. You shall not be barren in Jesus' name. You are made fruitful, and you'll see the manifestation sooner than you think if you don't give up."