Counsellor Frank Adofoli
Marriage is not a prison, marriage is not frustration, marriage is not a punishment. Marriage is a blessing and everyone can have that. Bad marriage is a choice. The fact that you agreed to marry someone does not mean you agreed or allowed yourself to be maltreated. Marriage is not for everyone.
Marriage is one of the safest relationships on earth, a relationship which runs on love and respect, equality and understanding, partnership and friendship. Marriage is work and happiness and not endurance.
Marriage is a life of fulfillment and not a life of sorrow. It is never a punishment or an abuse. That is why when someone gets married we are happy for them because marriage is God’s favour and anyone who finds a spouse is blessed and receives favour from God.
It is very true that lots of marriages have an opposite picture of what marriage is intended to be. That's the choice they made. They went for a bad marriage instead of a good one. This is because we are not taking our time to prepare for a good marriage.
Lots of singles are preparing for sex and not marriage. Because many singles have not prepared for marriage, when they see a “marriage material” person they are not able to recognize them. There are many who pushed the right person away to make room for the wrong person.
The truth is, when you know how to prepare a certain food, or have the right knowledge of the taste and how it is prepared, you should be able to recognize it when you see it or taste it.
Whatever we are looking for in Marriage, you first have to become that so when you see it, you can identify it. I am not saying a woman has to become a man to be able to recognize a man. I am talking about character, value, conviction and faith.
Know what you want, become that so when you meet someone like you, you can identify them. By so doing you are able to know the right person for marriage. Don’t get into marriage because of your age. Marriage is about maturity and not age. Maturity is the ability to respond to issues, and not how old one is.
Don’t get into marriage because you cannot control your libido, don’t get into marriage because you don’t have a place to stay, don’t get into marriage because you can’t live alone when God in His wisdom brought you to this world alone. Don’t get into marriage because you are looking for a cook or washer.
God does not choose a spouse for us as some people think. He has given us the power to do that. God chooses our parents and relatives for us, that is why we can't change our siblings even when we don't want them. But when it comes to marriage, the power is in your hands. This is one important lifetime exercise which needs prayerful consideration, diligence. You don't go through this process with your eyes closed.
Unfortunately sex blinds us with LUST and once we start this important process blindly, we end up with the wrong spouse. The easiest people to be robbed by a thief are people having sex. They lose their senses to the act.
The most vulnerable man is a man on heat, nothing matters to him. He is at the mercy of his manhood. This is why God in his wisdom reserved sex for marriage. Take all your time to find the right person and when you do that, even when you are vulnerable with them, you are safe.
In conclusion, "Find a good spouse, you find a good life—and even more: the favor of God!" - Proverbs 18:22 (MSG).
Please share with your friends, someone out there needs this.
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