Dear GhanaWeb: I abandoned my child with my mum a week after delivery, I want to make things right

Dear GhanaWeb,

I’m writing this with a heavy heart and so much regret. Seven years ago, I got pregnant and delivered a baby girl.

That pregnancy was not something I wanted to carry. I tried my best to terminate it but kept failing till my mother found out and forced me to keep it.

I didn’t even know who it was for because we went for a house party and we all got drunk. I slept with about five different men that night, we were 15 who went for the party.

Four girls and eleven guys. I don’t know, maybe I even slept with everyone because we just ate, drunk and had sex multiple times that evening without thinking. I think the guys sedated us.

We played games, I was dared to give one guy a `blowjob’ and I did. I was so horny that I wasn’t able to control myself. I did nasty things with the guys.

That’s the major reason I didn’t want to keep the pregnancy because I couldn’t tell who owned it and it would even be awkward to go back and say I was pregnant to 11 men.

I couldn’t explain to my mom why I didn’t want to keep it so I just said I didn’t know who it was for and she asked me to keep it by force as a lesson.

Exactly a week after delivering, I left home and abandoned the child for my mother. I came to Accra. I never called home or visited home. I haven’t seen my child again till now and I’ve not heard from my mother or any family member. It’s been seven years.

When I came to Accra, I did mainly hookup after I recovered from delivering. I slept with most big and rich men and I made enough money. I was able to rent an apartment in four months and bought a car a year after.

I’m 34 years old now. I want to stop all these and find someone to settle with. Again, something keeps telling me to go back home, find my child and reconnect with my mother before I find a man to settle down with.

My mom was old. She was 61 when I left. She probably struggled. I don’t know how to go and apologize to her and start all over again. I don’t even know if she’s alive and if my daughter survived after I left. I don’t even know if they’re still at where we used to stay.

In case I find them, what should I say to her for her to forgive me? How should I go about this? I need help, please.

FG/EB

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