Dear GhanaWeb: I agreed to a man sleeping with my girlfriend for a loan

Dear GhanaWeb,

I am currently dealing with a situation that has left me confused and emotionally drained. I do not know whether I am justified in how I feel or if I am the one who created the problem in the first place.

Some time ago, I urgently needed money and approached a man for a loan of GH¢30,000. When I asked him, he told me plainly that he would only give me the money if my girlfriend agreed to sleep with him. At that moment, instead of rejecting the offer outright, I agreed to the condition.

However, I did not tell my girlfriend about the arrangement I had made with the man. I planned to send her to ask him for the loan without revealing the condition and see what decision she would make if he requested her.

So I asked my girlfriend to contact him and request the loan on my behalf. When she spoke to him, he told her exactly what he had told me — that he would only give the money if she slept with him.

She never told me about that conversation. Instead, she later came back and told me that the man had agreed to give us the money. After some time, she went to meet him, slept with him, and collected the GH¢30,000. Even after that, she still did not tell me what really happened.

She simply brought the money to me and said the man wanted us to pay it back on time. According to her, we were supposed to repay the loan by November because she collected the money in July last year.

What she does not know is that I already knew everything from the beginning. I was the one who agreed to the arrangement with the man before she even contacted him. In fact, the man later told me that he was not giving the money as a loan at all. According to him, after sleeping with her, he decided to simply give me the money.

Now, the time she mentioned for repayment has already passed. The man himself has never asked me to return the money. But my girlfriend keeps reminding me every day that we need to pay him back because, according to her, he gave us a loan.

She keeps pressuring me about it and insisting that we should return the money. The truth is, she does not know that I know she slept with him to get the money. From the way she behaves, it seems like she wants me to repay the GH¢30,000 so she can keep the money for herself.

Because of everything that has happened, my feelings for her have completely changed. I feel like I cannot trust her anymore. At the same time, I also know that if I confront her and reveal that I knew about the arrangement from the beginning, the relationship will most likely end.

Part of me feels betrayed because she slept with another man and hid it from me. Another part of me wonders if I even have the right to feel that way since I was the one who agreed to the arrangement in the first place.

Would it be fair for me to break up with her because she slept with another man, kept it from me, and is now asking me to repay money that was never truly a loan? How should I go about this?

FG/EB

Did you know that there is a fort in Ghana that was not built for slavery? And did you know that it is in Elmina? Watch the story about Fort Jago here: