Dear GhanaWeb: I am turning into an abuser just like my father

Dear GhanaWeb,

My father was an abuser, a drunkard, and not to forget his anger issues. I don’t know if there’s a connection between these two but it’s like any man who drinks is an abuser.

When we lived together as a family, he mostly came home drunk and when my mother talked about it, he turned her into a punching bag. As for us his children, the slaps we received from this man were countless.

He took advantage of my mother’s submissiveness to him and treated her as if she meant nothing in his life. Sometimes I wonder why my mother fell in love with this man but we can’t control who our heart loves, right?

When my mother couldn’t take it anymore, she left and took us along so we grew up with her. Looking at how awful my father treated my mother, I vowed not to be like him or follow his steps.

My first relationship was when I was 24 years old and was seeing this beautiful lady. We were together for three years and during those years, I saw myself behaving like my father.

Whenever I experience a bad day at work or anywhere, I get angry, and that anger drives me to get drunk. I had raised my hands on my girlfriend several times and all this while, I didn’t know I was behaving like him until the day I slapped and beat her which compelled her to break up with me.

I started to see another lady and the situation was still the same. The rate at which I get angry is even more than my dad’s. I have been seeing therapists, and also spoken to pastors but still do not see any change.

I want to change and have tried many ways but none has worked for me.

Could this be spiritual?

Dear GhanaWeb is a relationship and lifestyle advice column by GhanaWeb where the GhanaWeb audience responds to your questions and problems about relationships at home, work, and beyond. Share yours with GhanaWeb mailto:via:features@ghanaweb.com.

ED/BB