Dear GhanaWeb: I can't give my husband children and I'm devastated

Dear GhanaWeb,

I’m a 35-year-old woman who has been married for 10 years. People around me think I’m lucky because my husband earns well.

We live in a nice apartment, and I wear gold at weddings. No one knows the pain I carry inside me every single day.

I cannot become a mother. Doctors have tried, I’ve taken different types of medicines, prayers whispered into temples and mosques, but nothing has worked. Because of this, my husband has slowly started hating me.

When I look into his eyes, I don’t see love anymore. I can only see disappointment. Every festival, my in-laws try to make me uncomfortable in my own home.

They always ask what my use in my home was if I cannot give birth. To them, what I’m worth is only in my womb.

At night, I cry silently into the pillow while he turns his back. Sometimes I wonder, what is more painful, not having a child, or being treated as less a human by the man you love?

If motherhood is destiny, then why was I chosen for this curse? I’m tired. I’ve cried enough.

I thought I had a man who would stand by me, but he has turned his back on me. It’s like I’m alone now. He actually joins his family members to mock me.

Last time, I told him I felt so lonely in this world, his response was, “if you do yourself the favour of having kids, they’d be here with you”.

Those words pierced my heart so deeply. They said in their home, they don’t adopt because their bloodline is very important to them. I can’t give them kids, and he also doesn’t want a divorce or to marry another woman. Why can’t I just be happy?

Now I have given up. I know I’ll never have kids and I can’t have genuine love either. I don’t know what to do with my life anymore. Maybe I should just leave this world and have peace.

Why am I living if I can’t be happy? At this point, I don’t know what to do. I need help, please.

FG/EB

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