Dear GhanaWeb: I mistakenly slept with three men

Dear GhanaWeb,

When we got married, we were young and hopeful. He was 27, I was 24, and life wasn’t easy, but we had each other.

For four years, we struggled side by side, building something from nothing and holding on to love like it was the only thing that truly mattered.

Everything changed when he got the opportunity to travel abroad for work. At first, it felt like a blessing. He provided for us and made sure the children and I never lacked anything.

From the outside, we looked like the perfect family, comfortable, stable, and even enviable. But behind that image, something slowly began to break.

Each time he returned to Ghana, I noticed the distance. The late nights, the secrecy, the unfamiliar perfume, and the way he stopped wearing his ring. I didn’t need anyone to tell me what was happening; I knew.

He was seeing other women.

I spoke up, I cried, I fought for our marriage, but nothing truly changed. Two years ago, I caught him again, and that was the first time I seriously considered leaving.

Somehow, we stayed, maybe because of the children, the years we had invested, or because I still loved him.

But the love began to feel one-sided. He would leave for months, sometimes years, while I remained at home, waiting, faithful, and raising our children alone.

He even went as far as conducting DNA tests on them, just to be sure. That alone showed me how little he trusted me, despite everything I had sacrificed.

Eventually, something inside me shifted.

I became tired, tired of being the only one holding on, tired of being the “good wife” while he lived freely without consequences, tired of pretending I was happy when I wasn’t.

Then one night, I made a decision that changed everything.

I went out and drank more than I ever had before. I lost control in a way I never had, and that night, I crossed a line I cannot erase.

I ended up sleeping with three men. I was not fully aware of myself, but it happened.

What I didn’t know was that it had been recorded on my own phone. Somehow, he saw it, and that was the end.

There was no explanation, no conversation, no forgiveness. He sent me away as though everything we had built together meant nothing, as though all the years I stood by him, despite his own betrayals, did not count.

He says I planned it. He says being drunk is no excuse. I made one mistake, and he made many, yet somehow, mine is unforgivable.

Now I am here, trying to understand how a marriage that survived so much could fall apart like this.

I am also trying to find the strength to be there for my children when I feel like I have lost everything.

Was it really about what I did, or was he just waiting for a reason to let me go?

How do I move forward from here?

FG/EB

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