Dear GhanaWeb: I’m married to a man who is not ready to have children

Dear GhanaWeb,

To bring forth, a child is the dream of every woman. Children could be troublesome but aside from that, they bring joy to every parent.

My husband and I are in our fifth year of marriage with no children. At the beginning of the marriage, we decided to wait for two years before we started having children.

I didn’t like that idea because I felt that there would be problems after those two years like delay in conceiving and other issues.

Lo and behold, we were in our third year and were ready to conceive. The first three months passed by and hadn’t seen any sign of pregnancy. I made sure we had sex on my unsafe days so was expecting to see a change. It continued till the year ended.

I took the next quick step by going to the hospital for a check-up. We both went and after the lab tests, we were told nothing was wrong with us.

It’s been three years now and all I have been doing is to for check-ups and pray. I asked my husband to do the same but we still didn’t see any improvement.

What could be the problem? I asked myself.

One day, I followed my mother-in-law to a prayer camp. While prayer was in session, the pastor touched me and he revealed that my husband has undergone a vasectomy which is why I haven’t conceived yet.

I got home and luckily for me, he was back from work. I just threw the question at me and you should see the shock on his face.

I thought he would deny it but the first sentence he said was “I can explain”.

According to my husband, he underwent the surgery because he didn’t want to have children. He says children drain marriages especially when it comes to finances and was not ready to be a part of that.

He went on to say that he was against the idea of getting married because of that but the pressure from his mother made him get married.

So why didn’t you tell me before we started the relationship, I asked him.

He said he was scared I would also leave him just like the other ladies did.

After he ended his speech, I just packed a few clothes and left the house. It’s been three months since I saw my husband and he calls me every day asking when I’ll return home.

Honestly, I don’t know if I should go back or end the marriage. What should I do?

Dear GhanaWeb is a relationship and lifestyle advice column by GhanaWeb where the GhanaWeb audience responds to your questions and problems about relationships at home, work, and beyond. Share yours with GhanaWeb mailto:via:features@ghanaweb.com.

ED/BB