Dear GhanaWeb: My 11-year-old son attacks me with weapons

Dear GhanaWeb,

I’m a single mother of two boys, 11 and 7 years old. I never imagined I would one day be afraid to sleep in my own home because of my children.

My oldest son has become extremely aggressive toward me. When he gets angry, he doesn’t just argue or talk back. He punches me, destroys things in the house, and sometimes picks up weapons to attack me.

He has broken our TV, phones, laptops, and other things in the house. We have gone almost nine months without a TV because I’m honestly scared of buying another one. Whenever there is a serious fight between us and I leave the house, I can almost guarantee that something will be destroyed before I return.

But the worst part isn't the things he breaks. It's what he does to me. There have been times when he has attacked me while I was sleeping.

One Sunday afternoon, he tried to stab me with a knife while I was asleep. I felt something and managed to block him, but I ended up with a deep cut on my arm and had to go to the hospital to get stitches.

Another time, he hit me with a chair while I was sleeping. I had a cut above my eye and needed stitches again. And recently, there was another knife incident. These are not small disagreements between a mother and a stubborn child anymore. I genuinely fear for my life.

Sometimes he uses a stick, chair, pestle, knife or whatever he can find. There are nights when I have to lock him outside my room because I’m terrified that I won't be safe if I fall asleep.

And when we fight, it can go on for hours. The more I try to beat him, the more aggressive he becomes. I eventually realized that I can't physically overpower him, and I can't continue fighting him like this.

Now his younger brother is starting to behave the same way. Sometimes the two of them gang up against me. I'm exhausted.

I've spent years protecting these children from people's judgment because I didn't want anyone saying bad things about them. I've kept quiet about what happens in my home because I'm their mother.

But I'm at the point where I don't know if keeping quiet is protecting them or putting me in danger. People may look at me and think I didn't raise my children properly. But I've done everything I could.

They have food, good schools, gadgets, clothes and everything they need. Their fathers support us financially, so I've never wanted to take the children away from them or create problems. But money isn't the problem anymore.

My problem is that I'm becoming afraid of the two people I gave birth to. I don't want my children to fear me because I'm their mother. I want them to respect me, love me and understand that violence against me is not acceptable.

What am I supposed to do before one of these attacks becomes fatal? I need your help, please.

FG/EB

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