Dear GhanaWeb: My boyfriend’s obsessed 'baby mama' is making my life a living hell

Dear GhanaWeb,

There is this man who owns an office space in my area. He is good-looking, polite, and my type of man.

I started going to his workplace more often to patronise his services, and over time, he began noticing me.

He has a son, and at first, I thought he was married because he appeared so responsible. As much as I found him attractive, I never intended to pursue anything with him, assuming he was a married man. When I visited, it was always strictly business—nothing more.

He had my contact, so he would often view my WhatsApp status. One evening, I posted a video of myself, and he viewed it, complimenting me by saying I was beautiful.

I was happy but also a bit weirded out because I thought, why would a responsible, married man be telling me I’m beautiful when he should be telling his wife? I replied to his message, and from there, we started talking.

A few weeks later, he asked me out on a dinner date. I agreed but asked if he would be bringing his son along.

He laughed and told me he’d put him to sleep and then pick me up, as he would be driving. Little did he know, I had plenty of questions for him. That evening, he arrived earlier than expected, opened the car door for me, and whispered, “such a gentleman.”

The dinner date was fun, and that’s when he confirmed he was single. He explained that his baby mama had left him and their son when the child was only 8 months old, so he had been a single father ever since. I couldn’t help but wonder why a woman would leave such a nice man. We began communicating more regularly despite his busy schedule.

A month later, he surprised me with a gift, a bouquet of roses and a card that read, “Will you be my girlfriend?” I was touched, and without hesitation, I said yes. Everything seemed perfect. Months went by, and my feelings for him deepened. I was in love, and I was comfortable with the fact that his son was never a distraction, and there were no issues with his ex.

But then, just as we were planning for our first anniversary, his baby mama unexpectedly reappeared. His attitude towards me changed. He became distant and reserved. He didn’t tell me that his ex was back, and one day he lied, saying his son was at a class when he had actually gone to see his mother. When his son returned, I asked where he had been, and he told me his mother had come to pick him up. I was shocked.

I began paying closer attention to my boyfriend, and I eventually learned what was going on. I started pulling back emotionally, and he noticed. One day, he said we needed to talk. I confronted him, accusing him of cheating on me with his ex.

He swore that he hadn’t been unfaithful, explaining that he didn’t want me to feel threatened by her presence, so he kept it from me. However, the reality is that his baby mama has refused to let go of him.

His son told her that his dad was seeing someone new, and now she’s trying to cause trouble.

Now, I’m pregnant, and things have become really difficult between us. I’m unsure whether he’ll choose me over the woman he shares a child with. My question is, should I consider aborting the pregnancy and moving on with my life? I don’t want to make a decision that I will regret in the future.

FG/EB