Dear GhanaWeb: My father opposes my relationship; is he jealous or overprotective?

Dear GhanaWeb,

I suspect that my father might be interested in starting a romantic relationship with me, and I’m deeply troubled.

Since my mother passed away when I was just three years old, my father has taken on both parental roles, raising me with care and ensuring my happiness to fill the void left by her absence.

Growing up, I never felt I lacked anything. My dad worked hard to provide for me and instilled in me strong Christian values. He often advised me to avoid dating, insisting I should focus on my education and make him proud. He firmly stated that I should not date until I turned 22.

Hoping for his happiness, I suggested he remarry, but he declined, saying he didn’t want to risk bringing another woman into my life who might mistreat me. Out of respect for him, I followed his wishes and refrained from dating until I was 22.

In my second year at university, I met Michael, who has been incredibly kind and supportive. We grew close and eventually started dating. As an honest daughter, I told my father about our relationship.

Initially, he seemed pleased, but three months later, his attitude changed. He became distant, stopped talking to me, and refused to eat meals I prepared. Living with someone who wouldn’t communicate was emotionally draining.

One morning, I approached him in his room and asked if I had done something wrong. He assured me I hadn’t but said he didn’t want to see me in a relationship.

I reminded him of his earlier statement that I could date when I turned 22. I believed I was finally at an age where it was acceptable, but he insisted he didn’t want anyone else taking my attention away from him. He said he cherished having me around and didn’t want someone else in that role in my life.

Feeling confused, I asked if he would ever let me get married, given his current perspective. He replied yes—but only when “the right time” comes.

I’m uncertain when that time might be. For now, I’ve stopped all communication with Michael to respect my father’s wishes, but this has been heartbreaking for me.

I love Michael deeply and can’t bear the thought of losing him. At the same time, I fear that pursuing a relationship with him might cost me my relationship with my dad.

What should I do in this difficult situation?

MKA/OGB