Dear GhanaWeb: My fiancé is unaware I lost my womb and we are getting married soon

Dear GhanaWeb,

I’m a 31-year-old woman who will be getting married in a few months. I’ve been dating my fiancé for 3 years.

Five years ago, I lost my womb when I was trying to terminate a pregnancy and it didn’t turn out well.

I survived it, but I was told I wouldn’t get pregnant or have kids again because my womb was damaged. They took it out to save my life.

My man has seen the mark on my stomach, but I’ve told him it was an appendix that was removed, and he believed it.

We are about to settle down, and I know very well that I can’t have kids, but I fear that if I tell my partner, he won’t proceed with the marriage.

I love my fiancé deeply, and I don’t see myself being with any other man aside from him. I’ve been thinking about it, and I decided to protect what I have since I don’t want to lose this man.

I’ve been jokingly proposing adopting kids, but he also takes it for a joke. He loves kids so much. I see the way he plays with other kids and the ones in his family house.

I also don’t want to live unmarried because I can’t have kids. It’s so sad that I can’t give him even one child.

People abort pregnancies many times and they are good. Why is my case different? Just one pregnancy and I’ve lost my womb.

I admire marriage and would be glad to be called someone’s wife. This is why I have kept this a secret from my man, and I don’t intend to ever tell him.

I plan that if we ever go and see a doctor, I’ll see the doctor in advance to tell him to inform my husband-to-be that everything is okay with us. I don’t want any shame.

If we keep trying, he will give up and make us adopt eventually. This is how I’ve planned it out, but sometimes I fear things may backfire.

Is it okay that I keep quiet and proceed with the marriage? I don’t want anything that will make me lose this marriage. My friend advised that I tell him the truth before getting married, but honestly, I’m scared.

What if he leaves me after I tell him? What should I do now?

FG/AE

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