Dear GhanaWeb: My husband has been abusing me sexually

Dear GhanaWeb,

My husband was arrested three times for rape before I met him. I only found out after he got arrested twice, even after we got married, for the same thing.

We've been married for three years. My husband hasn't been jailed because he always buys his way out with money. He is always violent when it comes to sex. He was like that when we were dating, but I didn't think it was an issue.

It only became a problem for me after marriage, but I agreed to endure because he knows how to spend on a woman. He's wealthy, and I started getting expensive things because of him. Everyone around me saw me as a big girl. He got me a car on my birthday and other designer wear.

He told me he fantasised about BDSM. He always wanted to role-play, but I didn't have the experience when we met. I tried to adjust because I wanted to make him happy and keep him all to myself, but anytime we did it, he wanted me to act like an innocent child he was forcing to sleep with.

It was weird that he desired the same thing always until he got arrested for defiling a 9-year-old child, who happened to be one of his employees' daughters.

That was a surprise to me. I never thought he could do such a thing. It didn't even ring a bell that he was doing the same with me. We were all worried, but they settled the man outside the court and fired him.

Then another one came up again late last year, and he got into serious trouble again. They tried to keep it from me, but I found out, and that's how I heard he had a record. I have since stopped the role-play thing.

He has changed a lot since I said I wouldn't give him that feeling. He's now fond of forcing me, and in the course of doing so, he always beats me. He would hit and force me, and even tie me sometimes in my sleep.

I have a video of him doing this to me, and I want a good lawyer to help me charge him with sexual assault. Also, take some money and leave the marriage. We don't have children yet, so it's easy. He needs to compensate me greatly for assaulting me all in the name of sex.

I hope I'm being fair? What do I do?

FG/EB

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