Dear GhanaWeb: My husband wants a divorce

Dear GhanaWeb,

My husband was involved in a serious motor accident three years ago. It was so severe that he could not walk for almost two years.

Just two months after the accident, his company terminated his employment, paying him only three months’ salary, amounting to GH¢3,600.

At the time, our marriage was barely a year old. Thankfully, I was not pregnant because we had both agreed to wait at least a year before having children so we could save and start a project together.

Neither of us earned much. He was a supervisor at his company, and at the time of the accident, we had savings of just GH¢10,000.

We used everything on hospital bills, and I still had to borrow money from friends and relatives to support his treatment.

Not long after, I was also laid off from my job because I was reporting late due to my husband’s condition. I was completely overwhelmed. Taking care of him, moving him to and from the hospital, and paying medical bills became unbearable.

I grew tired and almost gave up, but I couldn’t abandon him because I loved him. I started selling rice, beans and yam in the neighbourhood.

The income was small, but it helped us survive and meet our basic needs. Despite having a degree, I couldn’t secure a better job, so I continued trading.

My husband began walking gradually sometime last year and is now fully fit. He recently secured a job that pays over GH¢4,000 a month, and things seemed to improve.

I managed to settle most of our debts, so I hoped we could finally focus on the future and start a family. Unfortunately, that is when his behaviour changed completely.

He has not saved a single cedi since starting the job and is constantly out with different women. He refuses to answer calls in my presence and does not stay home even for a day. He has changed his phone password, making it impossible for me to access it. People regularly see him at restaurants and hotels with various women.

At first, I tried to understand. I assumed he was overexcited because he had been unable to walk or enjoy life for two years. But things worsened. This entire month, a woman has been dropping him off in front of our house almost every day.

They hug and kiss before he gets out of the car. When I confronted him, he became angry, stopped speaking to me, and refused to eat my food.

Two days ago, he woke me up at dawn. I thought he was about to apologise or reflect on his actions. Instead, he told me we needed to take a break because the accident had affected our marriage. I was confused and asked what he meant by “a break,” and he said the marriage. He was indirectly asking for a divorce.

He has not given me any concrete reason, aside from blaming the accident. He won’t tell me what I did wrong, but I am not leaving. His accident reduced me to nothing. I sacrificed everything, hoping his recovery would restore our marriage, but instead, he wants to destroy me.

I gave my all to this marriage when he could do nothing for himself. I worked day and night, cared for him, loved him as he was, served him, and supported him emotionally and physically, even when he was completely helpless.

I made sure he smiled every day, knowing how depressing it can be to be confined and dependent on someone else.

I will not walk away and allow another woman to take my home. What should I do now?

FG/EB

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