Dear GhanaWeb: My little sister died after aborting our child

Dear GhanaWeb,

My little sister died last year at just 21 years old. Somehow, I keep feeling like I’m responsible for her death, and lately, she keeps appearing in my dreams almost every night.

We were very close, but along the line, we made some terrible mistakes. There were moments when things went wrong between us. Things that shouldn’t have happened, and I can’t forgive myself for it.

There was a day she walked into my room and caught me masturbating. I was sort of horny that day, so I pleaded with her to let us have sex.

She refused at first and insisted I continue to masturbate, that she wasn’t going to tell anyone but we eventually had sex after I managed to convince her to let me do it for once. I actually needed help.

Sex became a regular thing for us after that day. We did it very often. We were both in the university. We never met anywhere to have sex when we were in school, but when we came home, we had sex through till we went back to campus.

Later, she found out she was pregnant and said she wanted to handle it quietly because she didn’t want our parents to find out or be disappointed. She asked me for some money, and I gave it to her.

I was scared too, so I didn’t stop her. She told me a friend was taking her to a specialist, and that friend never knew I was involved.

Two days later, she left home to get it done. Before leaving, she made me promise that when everything was over, we’d stop all the sex and end whatever was going on between us. I agreed. I had already started regretting everything myself.

She came back home and said she was fine, just bleeding a little, but said it would stop soon. Later that evening, I returned home only to hear that my sister had died.

Since then, she kept showing up in my dreams. Sometimes, she will just stare and cry.

Other times, it looked like she was trying to say something. I could see she’s not happy with me.

The guilt won’t go away because I always think one way or the other, she did the abortion for my sake. She was trying to help and protect us both.

I’ve been getting scared lately. What should I do now?

FG/EB

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