Dear GhanaWeb: Why do men think a relationship is all about sex?

Dear GhanaWeb,

I am 26 years old and still a virgin. I know you wondering why I haven’t given in yet; I have my reasons.

I come from a family where my parents had to make huge sacrifices to see my brother and me through life. At a younger age, my mother left his children (us) for a job in a different country.

My father was so angry she left and from then on, he decided to make us his topmost priority and truly he did. My father deprived himself of a lot of things just to make sure we never lacked anything under his care.

For all the years I spent in school, there was no single day my brother and I were sacked from school because we hadn’t paid our school fees. Such a thing never happened.

My mother returned to Ghana and explained why she left. According to her, she left so she could provide us with the life she never had. My mother was also supportive and I must stay, I am not from a rich home but I live a comfortable life.

Looking at all this, I am 26 years old and I haven’t been able to do anything for my parents. I appreciate their sacrifices but I feel I need to do something for them.

My mother has been so interested in my virginity and keeps on asking me if I have given in yet. Anytime she asks and I say no to her, she looks so happy.

Based on this, I decided that the first day I would have sex would be on my wedding night because that is what my mother wants. But the problem here is most of the men that have come my way are for sex before marriage.

Why is it that men think sex is the foundation of a healthy relationship, thus a relationship without sex cannot grow.

Sometimes, I fear my decision will make me not get a husband in the future since I am driving all the potential men away.

I have met someone I like and I am thinking of changing my decision so I don’t lose him. Should I go ahead with my decision or continue to wait for someone who would accept to be with me irrespective of my decision?

Dear GhanaWeb is a relationship and lifestyle advice column by GhanaWeb where the GhanaWeb audience responds to your questions and problems about relationships at home, work, and beyond. Share yours with GhanaWeb via:features@ghanaweb.com.

ED/BB

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