Divorce, the emergency exit

As at now, people don't really understand divorce and we find it hard to see the sense in it. With the recent issues going on in marriages, the reports of abuse and some resulting in death should make one appreciate divorce. And get to know why God didn't sanction Moses on the passing of that law.

Just as buildings have emergency exits, vehicles have emergency exits but are not used until the lives of people in the building or the vehicles are in danger or threatened. So is divorce to marriage. Moses passed the law because people were heartless, they were causing pain to their spouses, they were killing their spouses. The lives of the people in the marriage were in danger or threatened so divorce was created for people to leave the marriage without losing a life.

Divorce is not the problem; it was a solution to save life. It might not be the best solution but the last resort to safety. What we should be concerned about as people is not divorce but how people can marry well and live well in their marriages. Attacking Divorce is like saying it is the cause of marital issues. Divorce does not create problems in one’s marriage. The couples are the actors of their problem.

Nobody in their right senses goes into marriage just to divorced. When the building or vehicle was being built or assembled, it was hoped that no situation will arise for the emergency exit to be used.

Just like our bodies, we all know one major exit is the anus but there are days the mouth becomes the emergency exit because there is war going on inside the stomach and the only way to preserve life is for the body to use the mouth to get it out as in vomiting. You only avoid such incidence from occurring when we feed the stomach the right food. We can prevent divorce when we feed the marriage with right spouses; and people with the right knowledge.

The court or the judge does not divorce a couple, as a matter of fact, they don’t want to be the reason for the dissolution of one’s marriage. They only give you the legal right when one's life is in danger or threatened. Else the couple have to prove to the court the marriage is broken beyond reconciliation. When that is proved to the court, the judge goes ahead to make it legal. It's not the court or the judge who broke up the relationship.

We cannot force marriage to work when the two actors (husband and wife) refuse to make it work. When we hear of divorce, people are quick to talk about the children involved but we forget that it was two adults whose relationship birthed the children. If the two cannot make the relationship which is the foundation for such a family work, keeping the couple together in the name of the children won’t help the children’s development.

In the Bible, God hated divorce because of the pain and trouble that caused people to divorce. We as a society are not looking at providing solutions to the problems in the marriage, we don’t take the trouble to find the root cause of the problems in marriage but we are interested in forcing married people who cannot make their relationship work, to stay together at all cost. We the society, are major contributors to the cause of the deaths happening in marriages.

Give people the right knowledge on how-to live-in harmony, how to resolve conflict, how to make marriage work and stop putting fear in them. If we put together two people who don't have what it takes to make the marriage work and prevent them from leaving, we end destroying lives.

Just as we evacuate people from conflict or war zone, it is same with divorcee. If the marriage is not safe, don't encourage people to stay there. If you have what it takes to help the couple, do that. Putting fear in them does not prevent divorce. Quoting the scripture wrongly does not solve marital issues.

In conclusion "Wisdom and money can protect you. But knowledge gained through wisdom is even better—it can save your life" - Ecclesiastes 7:12 (ERV).

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