File photo.
Studies show that if a man expects 10 things in a relationship but finds eight, he is likely to leave but if a woman expects 10 things but finds only two, she is likely to stay. She is prepared to do anything to hold on.
She loves too much – she is obsessed about her man and calls it love. She holds on to the relationship which is obviously dead and looks for drama, attention. Her obsession negatively controls her emotions, behaviour and general well-being, tension and security.
Imagine a beautiful young ‘cash madam’ in a relationship with an unemployed. He is unkempt and a substance abuser.
He demands sex and money anytime and she must give in or face physical abuse. He has many girlfriends and has warned that marriage is out of the question.
When friends try to talk her out of the relationship, she gets angry and stops talking to them. Then she comes to seek for help and before you speak, she adds’ but I love him because he is the only man who drives me to orgasm.’ Women!
Why some women love too much?
If a woman grows up in a dysfunctional home where she was abused or unloved, she grows up with emotional pain and is unconsciously attracted to the sort of men her father had.
The man creates similar emotional past so that she heals her past. The greater the pain in her marriage, the more her early memories are activated and the stronger she holds on to the relationship.
Some women were made to take adult responsibilities. When they grow up, they become care takers and care givers to make up for their early loss to a man who is intensive, chaotic and unpredictable.
Low self-esteem
Some women do not know what they look for in a relationship. They pick bad men and think all men are bad.
She is obsessed with love and thinks a relationship is the focus of life and that without it, she has no identity.
Challenge
Women want confident and brave men to keep their relationships exciting. You never get bored with a bad man who has a good sense of humour.
He gives attention and makes you feel sexy and desired.
Effects of loving too much
A woman who loves too much is terrified of abandonment and will do anything to hold on to the relationship. Nothing is too much for her to do.
She thinks the harder the pain, the greater her early memories are activated and the stronger she holds to show love.
She takes responsibility, guilt and blame for whatever happens in the relationship
If her relationship, eventually ends and a good and loving man comes she ignores him.
She feels uneasy with him because he does not create the scenario she needs to heal her. She, therefore, persistently takes men who create problems for her. Some call this repetitive compulsive order.
Advice to women
If you find any problems in your relationship, work at it but if you see no positive change be bold and ‘drop that yam’.
Your life is the most precious of your possession. It is the only one you have. Never sacrifice it for a relationship that is dead.
Trust your inner strength and listen to your inner voice. Only you can make yourself happy and not just any man.
‘Wait for the Lord. Be strong and take heart. And wait for the Lord.’ PS 2714).
In His own time, He makes all things beautiful for you. (Eccl.3;11).
