Don't discuss your woman with your ex - Counselor Adofoli

Women are like a driver’s mate in a car who see their men as the main drivers. She might not be as good, experienced and skillful as her boss, the driver; she is safe and secure with him trusting that, anytime she loses control or goes wrong, the driver her boss, will take in charge fully.

Security means so much to women, and they want to be with a man they feel safe and secure, a man who is mature enough to handle them even when they are acting like kids. A lot of women want to marry someone who is taller than them; some want thick tall spouses, elegant in structure etc. because the physique conveys a message of security to them.

To a woman maturity means security, that’s why a lot of women find it hard to date someone they are older than. Even if you are her junior in school, but prove to be more matured than her class mate, she will opt for the junior. Women are secure with the one who is mature.

So the fact that she is in love with a man and can tell him everything, means when things goes wrong in their relationship, or one hurts the other or they face conflict, etc. she expects her man to be mature about stuffs like this. He should know when to ignore some of her empty threats, calm her down, give her space but never withdraw his attention. Women find it hard to leave men who are able to do this.

Ladies like competition and because of that, it’s easy for them to compare themselves to friends and feel bad. Many ladies have friends with whom they don't discuss details of their relationships or personal life.

There is another category of men who act like the ladies themselves; they insult, quarrel and nag more than the ladies do. They tend to talk too much to the extent of discussing their lady with her friends and other ladies.

Nothing hurts a lady as much as finding out that her man is discussing their personal issues with no other person than his ex. She feels disrespect and makes her overthink.

She becomes insecure, gets jealous and thinks his ex makes him happier. She starts comparing herself to his ex. "Is she prettier than I am, is she smarter than me, is she more fun and exciting to be with?". If she was that good, then why did she become an ex? or are they still in love but just pretending?

They sometimes think to the point that, they no longer have reasons to stay. So despite your many apologies, they feel you are better off with your ex.

She finds it easy to forgive you but hard to accept you or be with you because, you have given her evidence that there is a devil in your life who is better than the angel she is.

In conclusion "A wise man is cautious and avoids danger; a fool plunges ahead with great confidence" - Proverbs 14:16 (TLB)