‘Don’t use a bad relationship as an excuse to cheat’ - Counselor Adofoli

Honestly most of the advises these counsellors ‘package’ for us look paradoxical; foolish on the surface but a deeper look reveals they are for our own good.

Ghanaian marriage and relationship counselor, Counselor Edem Adofoli has advised people in a bad relationship never to use the bad relationship as a basis for cheating.

According to him, one of the greatest mistakes that one can commit is to get married and cheat just because he or she thinks they are in a bad marriage.

Read the full message below;

A BAD RELATIONSHIP IS NOT A CAUSE FOR CHEATING

Written by Counselor Adofoli

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One of the greatest mistakes one can commit in life is to get married to a cheat. Many people are so blind in life and get fooled by feelings, looks and money. No cheater reveals their true identity until you catch them. When people catch them they say it was a mistake.

Their partners keep giving them chances but the outcome is almost the same. The cheater becomes smarter, finds ways and means to hide, lie, cheat and more.

Many singles are in relationships with people they love so much but have trust issues with them. They have forgiven their partners for cheating on them but why can’t they forget the instance and trust them again?

The truth is saying “I am sorry” after cheating doesn’t take away the scar even after the wound is healed. Sorry best works when a mistake is made but not when trust is broken.

Forgiving people who cheat on you can be easy but forgetting and trusting them again is a nightmare. Sometimes, it just feels impossible. When you find yourself in a relationship, it’s okay to make a mistake but never break the trust, for when you do, you destroy the relationship.

Cheating has nothing to do with the relationship, it’s a matter of character, a personal decision. An Honest person will never cheat no matter how bad they are treated or how bad the relationship gets because it’s not in their nature. But a dishonest person will cheat no matter how good things are.

Cheaters don’t take responsibility for their actions, they rather blame others and make them feel bad or think they are the cause. Cheaters are liars and insecure. They often accuse you of cheating and lying. They are demanding, controlling and manipulative. How they treat you has more to do with their reflection.

They are not straight forward with you, they are secretive; they speak less but faster. They don’t see anything wrong with their actions and you can’t help change people like that.

There is no difference between a cheater and a whore or whoremonger, for that reason you can’t turn them into a husband or wife. You can’t give people like that chances over and over again on the same thing.

It is not difficult to know whether you are dating a cheater. If you can’t share each other’s phone anytime, it is a clear sign you have one. Again, someone who cannot tell a simple truth, but lies even about little things is one.

Cheaters are dangerous and can kill you with their behaviour, they are like a snake.

They don’t bite you when you first meet them, they rather sweet talk you. Just remember when the snake first showed up in the Garden of Eden, did it start biting? No, it start talking, it started lying.

If you are with one now but don’t know, don’t worry, as time goes on you will get to know them better; time solves your problem by uncovering who he or she is, but what time can’t do for you is to break up with them. You need to do that on your own.

Never mistaken cheating and lying in your relationship a struggles. They are good reasons for a break up. It’s my prayer that God removes from your life anyone lying to you, using you, fooling you, or pretending to love you.

In conclusion “A good man hates lies; wicked men lie constantly and come to shame” – Proverbs 13:5 (TLB).