I’m dating a catholic priest but that’s not the problem

I am not going to lie. I am a very beautiful young woman. I am curvy with ample flesh in all the right places. I turn heads wherever I go. Men trip and sometimes walk into gutters just because they can’t take their eyes off me. It was uncomfortable for me at first but now I have gotten used to it. I have grown indifferent to all the unsolicited attention I get from people, just because of my physique. As for men proposing to me or trying to lay me, I just had to put everyone on a default, “No, I am not interested.”

So I wasn’t surprised when one of my colleagues whom I had become friends with, expressed interest in me. The only thing is he is a married man. And I don’t do married men, ever. So I flatly turned him down. After that, we were working late one night and this man came to me asking that I hug him. I politely declined his request and left for the house. I thought he would keep a distance from me after that but he didn’t.

I was there one day when he told me, “I want to introduce you to a man. He is a very important man. He will take good care of you.” I thought he meant another married man so I told him, “I don’t do married men, please. Leave me alone.” But he shook his head and said, “I got the message loud and clear that you don’t do married men. This man I am talking about is not married. He is a priest.” I was shocked but I was also curious so I agreed to meet him.

The day we agreed for the meeting to happen, my colleague and his wife came for me. His wife told me the priest was a very good man. She sang his praises, “If you are good to him, he will take good care of you.” Normally, I would have rejected the arrangement but it came at a time I needed money desperately. Our house rent was due and though I had saved, I couldn’t gather enough savings from my meagre salary to cover the cost. I had tried to get a loan but it didn’t work out. So I figured a tryst with the priest was my Hail Mary.

I met Father, and I was surprised at how handsome and refined he was. I was honestly expecting to meet a wrinkly old man. But boy, was I wrong. He was so handsome I couldn’t take my eyes off him. He seemed shy of me at first. I was shy too but after a few drinks, we loosened up. He told me about himself. I remember asking a lot of questions and I also remember how patiently he answered all these questions with a smile. I was enchanted.

Getting to the end of the visit, he asked me to sleep over. I said, “No, I am not prepared to spend the night.” I could have spent the night but I found it strange that he just met me for the first time and wanted to me to sleep over. Anyway, I promised to visit him the following week.

We kept in touch till it was time to meet him again. I was a nervous wreck. He was my first older man. I am only twenty-nine. I don’t have a lot of experience with men. I wanted to even call off the whole thing but I heard my aunt’s voice in my head. She was the one who encouraged me to do it. She said, “Who knows? Maybe God sent him our way to rescue us from our never-ending poverty. Look sharp and do what is necessary.”

So I went to him. He treated me like a princess. He was more gentle than I had anticipated. Then night came for us to sleep. I was terrified but I asked God for forgiveness. When we went to bed, he did not assume my presence in his bed was consent. He asked me, “Are you ready for us to have sex?” The bluntness took me by surprise. I said no immediately. He didn’t push. We just lay there as I tossed and turned, doing everything possible to convince myself that it was not a bad idea to do it. By morning I was ready for him. It was surprisingly good. Better than I have ever had. Father is a strong man. He is skilled too.

This happened about six months ago. We are still together. We still meet and have fun and make love and laugh. But there is a problem, I have fallen in love with him. I know he doesn’t love me. I know he is just using me to satisfy his sexual needs. The funny thing is, I don’t care. I want to please him. I enjoy all the ways he finds pleasure in my firm-fleshed body.

Currently, he is not as loving as he used to be. These days I don’t hear from him until days have passed. I was concerned at first but I am used to it now. I don’t know if he is tired of me or if he has found another girl. I don’t have any way of even finding out. I am living in a fool’s paradise, I know. The fact that I love him makes all of it harder. I almost walked away but my aunt advised me to get as much money and favours from him before I leave. He is a rich man so I know he can do it.

But how do I go about it? How do I get whatever I want from him before walking out even though I am hopelessly in love with him?

–Martha