Is marriage for doom or bliss?

The answer to whether marriage brings doom or bliss ultimately lies with you. Your mindset, your beliefs, and your expectations shape the experience you’ll have in marriage. Put: What you put into it is what you get out of it.

So, the real question is, are you entering a marriage with the intention of doom or bliss? Are you thinking of giving or simply taking? Are you marrying for sexual freedom? To have children? To escape loneliness, or do you have someone to provide for you? Or maybe because you’re financially stable and feel you can easily support another person? If your mindset is centered around your needs and happiness, then you're likely headed for doom.

Marriage isn’t about just you; it's about serving your partner and committing to them, no matter what. It's not about keeping score or constantly pointing out what your spouse isn’t doing right.

The true purpose of marriage is companionship, procreation, mutual growth, and unwavering commitment—staying by each other’s side through thick and thin. It’s not a platform to flaunt your wedding ring or expect to be pampered.

Marriage isn't about control, social status, or having a sharp tongue. It’s about saying, "I’m here for you, no matter what," through sickness and health, wealth or poverty until death parts you.

Many people today quickly abandon the "till death do us part" promise at the first sign of trouble. But marriage requires work. It’s not all about romantic dinners and walks in the park.

You’ll step on each other’s toes, but you must forgive, let go, communicate, and grow together. Ask those who’ve been married for decades—they’ll tell you they had to work through challenges and tough times to keep their marriage strong.

If you’re young and single, and your view of marriage doesn’t align with these realities, it’s time to rethink your decisions before you potentially disrupt someone else’s life. The government didn’t invent marriage, nor is it some scientific experiment where you can add a few chemicals and expect things to change.

You can't simply vote out the bad parts or hope a counselor will magically make everything work. Marriage is an institution created by God, and He alone can guide you through the journey. Yes, "the two shall become one," but that unity involves God, the husband, and the wife.

Without God at the center, your marriage is destined for trouble. As single individuals looking forward to marriage, it’s essential to turn to God’s word for guidance. Men, remember that Adam was created without Eve present. Women were brought into the picture after Adam was put into a deep sleep.

This tells us that neither man nor woman fully understands the other—it’s only through God’s guidance that we truly know who is meant for us. Single men, how do you prepare for marriage? Look at Adam: he spent his days in the presence of God, working diligently in the Garden of Eden, fulfilling his purpose.

Before God gave him Eve Adam had already established himself in his work. Are you, as a man, pursuing your purpose in life? Are you earning an honest income and staying rooted in God’s presence? When you focus on your purpose and your relationship with God, He will recognize your needs, just as He did with Adam, and provide a suitable partner for you— even before you ask.

Adam didn’t request a wife, but God saw that it wasn’t good for him to be alone, and He created Eve as a perfect match. This is how God operates: when you remain faithful to Him, He blesses you with the best. So, seek the kingdom of God first, and all else will follow. While you work on your spiritual life, take care of your physical well-being.

Improve your character, emotions, hygiene, and health. When Adam declared Eve as "bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh," he was making a lifelong commitment. Are you ready to love the woman you choose to marry, no matter the hardships that come your way? Men, don’t enter marriage expecting your wife to serve you by doing all the cooking, cleaning, and laundry. Marriage is a partnership, not servitude. Learn to handle these tasks yourself because your wife is coming to help you, not to be your servant.

Now, to the single women: Eve didn’t meet Adam in a nightclub or a sketchy corner of town. She found herself in the presence of God, and that’s where she encountered her husband. Women, you attract what you are. If you’re dressing in skimpy clothes, smoking, or clubbing, you can’t expect to meet a godly man. Eve was in God’s presence and became attracted to a man who was also there.

So, ask yourself, where do you find yourself? Where do you plan on meeting a godly man? Spend time with God so He can lead you to the right partner. Eve also came to Adam fully formed, with all her physical and spiritual qualities. As a woman, What are you made of? Are you made of gold, bronze, or something lesser? Do you possess pride, selfishness, or greed? Do you respect yourself or allow anyone who shows interest to take advantage of you? Pray to become the wife your husband will cherish—submissive, wise, and full of God’s grace.

But remember, even Eve faltered when she decided without consulting Adam. Don’t make the same mistake in your marriage. Your husband is not your equal, no matter your social status or education. Once you choose to marry him, you come under his leadership, and that requires submission.

That’s why it’s crucial for both men and women to seek God before entering into marriage. Marriage is not a game, and there’s no easy way out. The Bible only permits divorce in cases of adultery, not abuse or addiction. While separation can be necessary in extreme cases, the goal is always reconciliation, which is why patience and discernment are essential before making the commitment.

The high divorce rates in today’s world are alarming, but that doesn’t mean God isn’t looking out for His people. Don’t rush into marriage because everyone else is doing it. Take your time, focus on yourself, and trust God to guide you to the right person.

For those who are already married, remember that forgiveness, communication, and letting go of bitterness are key. Love each other, support each other, and work through your challenges.

After all, it’s just the two of you on this journey. A fantastic resource to guide you through these topics is the book How Could I Have Known. It’s filled with practical advice for navigating singlehood, preparing for marriage, and building a successful, God-centered union. This book offers open, honest insights into the challenges and joys of marriage, Christian dating, and even the sensitive topic of divorce.

Marriage is a beautiful thing when you approach it with the right attitude and mindset.

Remember, it’s not just about finding the right person—it’s about becoming the right person. How Could I Have Known? Hmmm, a question many have been asking themselves for centuries.

The antidote is in this book and in this masterpiece I dove into the intricate dynamics of relationships, offering a comprehensive exploration from the pain of broken marriages to the complexities of single life and the hopeful aspirations of marital bliss.

In Part One, "Brokenness In Marriages," the book examines why some marriages falter, from mismatched expectations and selfish behaviors to abuse and psychological trauma. It then shifts to "Everything Single," addressing the challenges and misconceptions of single life, including the choice of love, defining relationships, and navigating personal desires versus societal pressures.

Part Three, "Becoming One," guides readers through essential preparation for marriage, exploring emotions, cultural influences, and the importance of counseling. Finally, "The Bliss of Marriage" outlines strategies for cultivating a lasting, fulfilling relationship, focusing on love, effective communication, and the profound significance of marriage.

Whether you're grappling with marital issues, navigating singlehood, or preparing for a lifelong partnership, this book provides valuable insights and practical advice to help you understand and enhance your journey through love and commitment.