Counselor Frank Adofoli
Ladies, it is a good thing to marry a man with a vision but don't marry a man whose vision is more important than you in his life. There is nothing wrong to be in a relationship with a man who is chasing or pursuing his dream but don't settle down with a man whose dreams are more important to him than you. Marry a man who treats and sees you as his greatest treasure.
That is what marriage is about. There is no sense leaving his parents, siblings, friends for you if he doesn't see you as the most important person, else he is just bringing you to his life to perform a specific task or role and can easily dispose of you.
Marriage is a priority and a decision, one that is a man's topmost beside his decision to follow God. A Decision about marriage is more important than buying his first car, it is more important than putting up his first building or mansion.
Any man who does not know this ends up putting cars, mansions, etc above their marriage. People who don't know this end up buying the most expensive car but sadly they cannot ride in the car with their wives. Such persons end up putting up the biggest and nicest mansion but couldn't live in it peacefully with their wives.
Such a person ends up taking better care of their cars than they do their wives. Such men end up spending more on their mansion than they do on their wives. They can't wait to rush their faulty car to the mechanic unlike their casual attitude towards taking their sick wives to the hospital.
Young men thinking about marriage, you need a woman who is a helper and not a caretaker. You need a woman who will help you to build not someone who comes only to enjoy. You don't need to get everything before you get married. That is a mistake many men do. They establish themselves, have everything, then go out to look for a caretaker to come and take care of it for them. They end up complaining their wives are not helping them, when you went for her to only come, watch and enjoy.
There are wives who don't do anything to help their husbands. She and her family depend on the man for everything. When the man is down and she even has the money to help, she won't. She later leaves.
You need to get someone who goes through the struggle with you, such a person will appreciate your growth and how far you have come. Such a woman feels she is part and parcel of your life and will give out their best to support you on any day.
Ladies thinking of getting married, you need a man who puts you first, sees you as the most important person, someone who is ready to start with you where they are, not someone who wants you to wait for them in a relationship until they hit a jackpot, win a lottery, get the dream job or salary; not someone who wants to put up all the mansions, buy all the most expensive cars before he getting married to you.
Such a person can keep you hanging around, used and dump you once they think they have arrived. You need a rich heart not a rich pocket. You need a hardworking man not a dreamer. You need a working partner not a slave master.
We should always remember our happiness is not about getting everything we want. Rather about enjoying everything you have. You can be happily married without a car, you can be happily marry without a mansion. Acquiring those things is not what defines your happiness. You can have all that and yet fail to relate well with your spouse, and fail to enjoy their company.
Build a solid relationship, work hard to build the future you want. And if you think you can't get married without a car, mansion, etc then please don't date. Wait to get all that before you date so you might not end up wasting someone’s time or leading them on.
In conclusion, "He who loves money shall never have enough. The foolishness of thinking that wealth brings happiness!" - Ecclesiastes 5:10 (TLB).
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