#LettertomyEx: She wasn’t just a friend after all

Hey K,

Today, I reminisced about our good old days with a lot of nostalgia and a feeling of “its okay”. How we met was amazing. I kept wondering if you were actually looking for me when we bumped into each other, but you and I know that wasn’t the case. I hesitated a bit, as most ladies do when you proposed to me. You kept asking me to be your lady and I kept pushing you aside until you said, “Start with me and you will never regret you did.” I don’t know how but I found some sort of comfort in those words so I said, “Yes, I would be your girl.” That day when I said yes to you, I thought I had found my Romeo and soon I would be happily married to you.

I remember that day when you took me home just to prove you had no ill intentions towards me. I was super excited and that was the point I started believing in the kind of man you are; decent, considerate and a real gentleman.

Barely two months into our relationship, I got myself a contract that paid well. That could be the luck you brought into my life, I thought. So, I didn’t mind sharing my money with you. You took everything with glee because you weren’t getting enough money from your work as an Uber Driver. I believed in the kind of love we shared. I went the extra mile talking to my contacts who were well placed to get you another job and many other opportunities I tried securing without your knowing it. I wanted to secure the love we had for each other.

I prepared your favorite food for you; Jollof rice and Spaghetti, as late as 11pm whenever you said that you were hungry. I didn’t mind waking up from sleep to cook even when I knew I had to go to work early morning the next day. I did these and more knowing that true love requires sacrifice. I think I was trying my best so that you wouldn’t even look at any other lady.

I gave you 70% of all unisex items my siblings abroad sent me because I felt you needed them more than I did. I gave you money for upkeep because I didn’t like you borrowing from friends. K, not that I didn’t know what to use my money for. I was only blinded by your love.

That day when I worked overnight using your laptop, I realized that you had lied to me about your age and that I was even two years older than you but to prevent any confrontation, I swept it under the carpet.

I should have been more vigilant when you introduced that lady to me as your friend. I should have listened to my FBI/CID instincts. I just felt something wasn’t right when I saw the picture frame of both of you which this lady presented to you as a birthday gift. I kept being that good girlfriend, not asking questions for you to tag me as nagging, or jealous or insecure.

Whenever you told me you were with your cousin, I called him sometimes to subtly confirm but he would tell me he hadn’t seen you for days. These were the “red flags but I ignored them. Anytime I felt you were drifting away and I complained you always had a way to talk me out of my fears.

You posted a picture of you and this lady having super fun on your status and you deleted it immediately so I wouldn’t see it. Fortunately, I did and I took a screenshot of it. I jokingly passed a comment about the picture and showed it to you but you got very angry that day. You told me; “If you don’t take care, I will block you from seeing my status.” Coming events indeed cast their shadows. I should have paid attention to these cues but my love for you kept me blind. To blind to see even the most glaring mistakes.

K, you changed. You wouldn’t talk to me for days on the slightest misunderstanding we had. I had to always apologize even when I knew I wasn’t at fault. I wanted to make things work. Our houses were not all that far apart but you wouldn’t let me visit you during the lockdown. You always had an excuse to give. You would tell me, “Esi, it is lockdown so let’s stay home.” You made me feel like I’m the one carrying the virus. While I was busily observing the protocols and you were avoiding my visits, you were gladly receiving another lady into your arms. How do I know about that? You wouldn’t pick my video and voice calls like you used to. “I am not in the mood for video calls” became the anthem you always sang.

I kept my cool all the while. After lockdown, there was so much that needed to be done at work and you weren’t talking to me much so you barely knew what was happening. Once I missed your call and I called you back. You got angry and wouldn’t even listen to what I had to say. I apologized on phone about that and went the extra mile of coming to your house to apologize again. K, that day you slammed the door on my face and didn’t allow me to come in. I called you continually for four days, you didn’t respond to any of my calls. “Has this guy forgotten so soon all that I had done for him?” I thought to myself. Your show of pride was on another level. You read all messages I sent to you but responded to none.

I should have known we had come to the end of the road but something kept pushing me to believe—believe that all things shall be better someday but finally you called me one Saturday morning and let it all out; “I can’t do this anymore. Stop calling me and pretend this never happened.” Just like that? What did I do? Where did I go wrong? I pleaded with you that day but you wouldn’t listen. And that was the last time I heard from you.

Just a week after the breakup with me, I saw photos of you having fun with this same lady you told me was your bestie. The captions were chilling. The places you went with her was very interesting. So, you could actually go out with a girl and have fun? Throughout our relationship, we never went out once. You preferred to be indoors, that’s what you said.

I really had big plans for us and I am still wondering why you came into my life. Was it love or you knew what you wanted? Got that and just left. You have a business now because of the capital I invested in. All the amount you borrowed that you didn’t pay, I have them on records here. This might not be the end. The next time you hear from me, I would be chasing you to collect what you owe me.

Wait for me.

It’s me Esi