Lifestyle : 45 years of marriage: what I’ve learnt

March 18, 2017 Cindy and I (Steve) are celebrating 45 years of marriage —and learning. I remember thinking as I stood watching Cindy walk down the aisle, “Whoa! I am the luckiest guy on earth!” Even as I write this I can close my eyes and see my beautiful redhead walking toward me.

Tears fill my eyes because I’m so grateful for the years God has given us together in this journey of life. We’ve sure learnt a lot —thank God! Without God’s help we probably wouldn’t have made it this far.

I can’t condense everything I’ve learned in 45 years of marriage here, but here are a few:

What I’ve Learned

1 I’ve learned …a wedding is a party. It’s a great party, but it doesn’t make a marriage. A marriage is journey filled with tremendous highs and horrible lows. But if we plow through the lows and NOT give up, it’s a GREAT journey. It has been that for us, with all the highs and lows included. We have learned through them.

2 I’ve learned …that those tremendous highs came because of God. We know we would have never survived those horrible lows without Jesus Christ at the center of our lives.

3 I’ve learned …whatever successes I’ve had in this life came because of my relationship with God. I’ll never be the man, nor the husband God wants me to be if I don’t continually turn to Him. But turning to Him does not make a good marriage. I’ve had to APPLY what God has taught me.

4 I’ve learned …I CAN change. This happens as long as my spirit is open, looking to God to help me to change when I know I should. [NOTE: It starts with a humble/broken heart and PRAYER.]

Additionally:

1 I’ve learned …how important it is to have the last words you speak to one another when you part during the day and before you go to sleep at night be, “I LOVE YOU!” (Remember, we are never promised another day, hour, or minute of life.)

2 I’ve learned … that vacuuming, washing the dishes, filling Cindy’s car with gas, rubbing her feet when they hurt are all forms of true love that touches her heart?. [NOTE: I get extra “points” when I watch romantic movies (chick flicks) with Cindy.]

3 I’ve learned … that by showing Cindy how much I CHERISH her it continually strengthens our relationship even after 45 years of marriage. [For more on how to do this see Marriage Insight: Do You Cherish Your Spouse.]

4 There’s one thing I’ve/we’ve learned through these 45 years together that has had the single greatest impact: We are committed to pray together as a couple every day. Prayer is what has held us together when everything else was pulling us apart at the seams. Prayer has been the healing balm when one of us “hurt” the other. It is the unifying force in our marriage. If there’s nothing else you take from these things I’ve “learned,” husbands —take this and start today!

We Still Do…

Lastly, Cindy:

“I Steve still takes you, Cindy, to be my wife every day God gives me breath. I will give thanks to God every day we have together to share in this life. It doesn’t matter what comes I will continue to cherish you for the person God made you to be. And I PROMISE you I will ALWAYS work to be the husband God wants me to be for you. May we, together, reveal and reflect the love of Christ through our marriage relationship to everyone God brings into our lives.”

To those who read this Insight, we pray. “May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy.” (Colossians 1:11)