Counselor Adofoli
Sometimes the nicest people you meet are covered in tattoos, have weird looks, and sometimes the most judgmental people you meet go to church on Sundays. Just as someone can mistaken a slim person for someone hungry and a big-bellied person for someone satisfied, should clearly tell you how appearances can be deceptive.
There has been an argument out there, that dating is not a relationship but simply termed as sampling; the act or process of selecting a sample for testing.
The truth is, you can sample things but we don’t sample human beings. Every human being that comes into your life has a role or purpose. Either they change you or you change them, either they bring you pain or happiness. No matter the experience, it’s priceless and has an effect or impact on one’s life. For these, sampling doesn’t have the power to do.
Going on dates is not the same as dating someone. Married couples can go on dates, business partners can go on dates, friends can go on date, even strangers can go on dates. Going on dates is just a meeting.
The aim of such meetings could be starting relationships, building relationships, etc. When it comes to marriage, the Bible says in Amos 3:3 (NLT) “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?”.
I want to get married to a stranger I don’t know, but before I make this all important decision in life, I have to study him or her, get to know the stranger before I give such a person a special place in my heart. You need to know the worth of people before you do so.
People can only open up to you when they have some level of connection with you, some level of trust for you, for no relationship can work without trust. A Relationship is a connection between two or more people.
Dating means you are studying a candidate eligible for marriage, so whoever you choose to study and get to know better, you need to have a level of relationship with such a person and this shouldn’t come with commitments; making dating a relationship.
If they don’t have a relationship with you, you can’t know them, they can’t tell you about their lives. You need to get to the point where you can say “you are exactly what I have been looking for all this time”.
People date recklessly nowadays; different meanings have been given to dating, treating people like trying a new cloth; no matter how well it fits, they want to see how they look in others. The primary purpose of dating is to know who you want to marry and start working towards building that life together.
While the world’s view may be to date around as much as we want, the important thing is to discover the character of a person before making any commitment to him or her. It’s not something intended to cause hurt. Even if you can’t be together in the end, one should be glad of knowing and learning from another. You must realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life.
In conclusion “You will be accepted if you do what is right. But if you refuse to do what is right, then watch out! Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master” – Genesis 4:7 (NLT)
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Written by Counselor Adofoli
