Lifestyle: Develop yourself before a marriage proposal

People are entering into wrong relationships which might end up as the worst marriage because of their personal needs or their urge for someone to help them develop themselves under the cover of love.

Some ladies are in relationships with men today but deep in their hearts, they don’t love them, neither will they settle down with them as spouses, had it not been because of what they needed now.

Some guys are in relationships because of an opportunity, a privilege, cash, car, etc, pretending he loves this lady and will marry her; but to him it is the last thing on his mind.

A successful marriage is a relationship between two best friends, serving each other, caring for each other, giving up the world for each other but never giving up on themselves and what they share.

It is not a business venture, neither is it a relationship between a boss and employee, master and a servant, teacher and student father and daughter nor vice versa.

Marriage is not a playground or a laboratory for experiments but a lifelong walk between two mature people. It's not a game for boys and girls. You need to be ready and prepare for it. It isn't by force, it's by grace. You need to develop yourself, build yourself up before you go into a relationship with the aim of marriage.

These days people go into relationships to seek for help, they go into relationships to look for someone to become what they want to be, to achieve their personal dreams and ambitions.

But one thing they forget is, when you depend on people to build you up, you are equally giving them the power to break you down. You are giving them power over you. You are making them your god. It's God who can help you become what He wants you to be, not a man or woman.

If your aim is to look for someone to feed you, you should be okay when they starve you. You don't expect such people to know your worth and value when you sold it so cheap to them in the first place. It is like giving them the right to disrespect you at any time; for they feel you are indebted to them for who you are.

Men, don't force the young lady into marriage because you think you might lose her if you don't, stop patronizing her, paying her school fees, renting for her, just because you want to have her as a wife in the future. Allow her to stay with her parents, let them do what God expects of them. You are free to go and ask for their hands in marriage when they are grown, developed and mature for marriage.

Ladies, if you find yourself ready for marriage and the young man is not ready, please leave him with his parents; let him stay with the mother until he is ready. To love is to care. Love comes with responsibility. It's not enough get a wife, you need to take care of her. He needs to have what it takes to keep you.

You need to be honest with yourself, if you are not ready, don't propose to any woman or accept any man's proposal. It also means they are not your spouse so don't take them by force. Let's do what is right and that will produce the right result and blessings we want in marriage.

In conclusion "Do what is right and good in the eyes of the Lord. Then it will be well with you. And you may go in and take the good land for your own which the Lord promised to give to your fathers" - Deuteronomy 6:18 (NLV).

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