Lifestyle: Does sex really stretch out the vagina?

Flashback to your very first period: Whether you were a young girl or older teen, the thought of sticking a little plastic tampon in your vagina may have seemed, well, daunting.

But as a grown woman, you’ve learned your vagina is pretty resilient and totally flexible—after all, it can stretch to accommodate everything from a tampon, to a penis, to a human baby.

Still, no matter how wise you may be about your lady parts, chances are you may still feel confused about what’s going on down there from time to time, especially when it comes to how your vagina responds to sex.

One question that may have crossed your mind while getting it on: Is it possible for sex to stretch out my vagina?

In short: not exactly. “The vagina is basically a muscular rubber band that that stretches during sex and returns to its original shape and size,” Michelle Metz, M.D., an ob-gyn based in New York City tells Women’s Health.

That said, the very first time you have sex does come with some size changes for the vagina. “Generally a band of tissue called the hymen will break or tear which can sometimes lead to mild bleeding,” she says, “and the vaginal opening increases in size.”

The vaginal wall may also stretch if you have sex with different-size partners, explains Metz. But, as mentioned, your vagina generally bounces back into shape after you’re done getting down. “It’s pretty impossible for sex alone to permanently stretch out the vagina,” Metz says.

However, in some cases, although your vagina may not expand for good, you may experience some soreness or small tears like paper cuts down there, she says. “That’s a sign that the vaginal skin stretched a bit too much.”

While this isn’t something to be too concerned about, if you’re having extreme discomfort every time you have sex, it’s probably a good idea to reach out to your ob-gyn. Metz says for some women with smaller vaginas, she’ll use tools such as a graduated vaginal dilator to help the body get used to a larger and larger diameter (a.k.a. the size of a real-life penis). “And sometimes I send patients to a pelvic floor physical therapist.”

Metz adds that in some cases, these challenges with sex may be caused by a more serious medical condition. “You should definitely consult your ob-gyn because some of those conditions can require surgical correction,” she says.

But even in cases where there are no underlying medical issues, it’s totally possible to experience discomfort and soreness after sex, especially if your partner is particularly well endowed.

If you’re having trouble enjoying sex with a larger partner (and actually wish your vagina would stretch the eff out), there are some things you can do in these cases, too. Metz recommends having sex more often and longer to improve the stretchiness and elasticity of your vagina. You can also try easing into this with a dildo, before experimenting with your partner.

However, at the end of the day, if you’re stressing about your vagina going all wide-set on you, we’ll stop you right there. Bottom line, according to Metz: “It’s pretty impossible for sex alone to permanently stretch out the vagina.”