Lifestyle: Don't fight for the love of a boyfriend

One of the things that make me nauseous is when a guy tells ladies to fight for his love. They may say "You are not the only one, there are other girls in the competition of winning my love". What they are saying in fact to these ladies is that, they should put up with any kind of nonsense just in search for someone to love them.

Some of such guys end up abusing these ladies verbally and physically, disrespecting them; and a lot of these start after they have successfully had sex with them.

The question is, why will you fight for something which is not yours? Why will you fight for a gift? Why will you accept what you won't allow for your daughter, just to be in a relationship which hasn’t guaranteed you marriage in the end?

The only thing you fight for is what is yours; what you own, and you must have something which shows it belongs to you. You can fight for your wife or husband because there is evidence of marriage, but not a boyfriend or girlfriend who can replace you anytime. No one fights for a gift; it is something which comes willingly from the heart. It is not an award or honour you earn as a result of your performance.

There are somethings you can't force, these include relationships and friendships. If you have to force it then its best you leave it. You only enjoy it when its real, and when its effortless; but it hurts when it’s fake, and that is when you force it.

People behave this way because they don't have any goal for getting into relationships. One of your goals is to be with someone who motivates you to become a better person and show you the potentials you don't see in yourself.

Girls mostly go into these goalless relationships and it’s because they want to compete with each other, but women don't do this because they empower each other. Instead of chasing or forcing a man to be with you, rise to the status of a woman, become a force to reckon with; for there is no force more powerful than a woman determined to rise.

There is always a difference between someone who only wants to have you for a period and someone who is a keeper. When he is a keeper, he will make time for you, he will chase you, he will adore you, he will protect you. A good man will be a woman's protection, but the one who isn’t puts her up for competitions. He doesn’t know that a woman's number one need is security, so they will end up hurting you no matter how much you love them.

Always remember love is not hurt, love is not foolishness, love is not pain; love is beautiful and love is sweet when it comes from the heart, not when it’s forced.

In conclusion "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will" - Romans 12:2 (NIV)

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You are invited to my upcoming seminar; HOW TO KEEP YOUR WOMAN IN LOVE. Strictly for men (Singles & Married) on 2nd Dec. 2016 at Paloma Hotel, Spintex Road, Accra, 10am Sharp. The Rate is only 25gh. For ticket, more info, feedback, counseling, speaking engagement, to sponsor, partner or join our family, call or WhatsApp +233 20 677 4279.

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