Lifestyle: 'Half way' kills relationship - Counselor Adofoli

Many times you hear counsellors, elders and spouses say that in marriage you have to meet your spouse half way in order to make it work; this in actual fact is not true.

Meeting your partner half way is what collapses most marriages. There is nothing like half effort or 50 percent in a lasting marriage or relationship. You are either fully in or you don’t start.

A winning team is not a set of half-fit players. Players are expected to give their all, their best, their 100 percent. Half effort is the spirit of a losing team. In such teams there are battles with frustration, blame games and pointing of fingers when things go wrong. It is hard for such teams to come from behind to win. They easily give up.

But the story is different with a winning team; even when things go wrong, they look for reasons to get back stronger, they easily put away negativity and become stronger when they are down. They work harder to make up for the weakness of others.

If you are single and thinking of a lasting marriage, but your partner doesn't go out loud for you, they are careful and not sure, then you've got to be careful with such a person. A Lasting marriage has the secret of sacrifice. Putting the interest of the union above personal gain. Ready to lose "me" in order to become "us".

Lasting marriages are not sustained by what you feel for your partner from the beginning of the relationship, but by what you sacrifice, share and what you continue to build till the end of time. You never give up on each other. You come closer and stronger when you are down. That's how you win.

This is why you don't have to convince, beg or force someone to be in love with you; such a person won't give out their all, their 100 percent. If they are not making the effort to be in your life, there is no need trying to be in theirs. It simply means they don't know the price of your love and won't be ready to fight for that. You will end up as a losing team.

Half way relationship is a selfish one, it has no love, no respect, no care, no honesty, it's not stable, it's boring, lacks trust and breeds tears and pains. Couples in half way relationship are there because of what they are getting from each other. Once their needs are not met, the relationship is over. Such relationships don't last. You should go for someone who would do anything to keep you; do anything to see you smile. Who will give you anything to see you happy.

One beautiful thing about a winning team is, individual strength is to the betterment of the team. If one is rich, the team is rich and they never lack. If one is a great cook, the team is happy because they won't get hungry. It's not ‘I brought this, so you should also bring that'.

In conclusion "Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God" - Ephesians 5:2 (NLT).

Please share with your friends, someone out there needs this. For feedback, counseling, speaking engagement, to sponsor, partner, Call/WhatsApp +233 20 677 4279.